I am so sorry for your losses. Suicide especially is a difficult thing to understand - we love that person and the people who are especially close to them wonder why they didn't come to them and get the help they obviously needed. But, Doofers, I do know from experience that he had to be hurting so badly inside that he just couldn't see any other way out of his pain and he made a split second decision that ended his life. It wasn't the right decision, and it's horrible, but it was an illness that caused him to do it. It wasn't something that any of his family did or didn't do for him. I just hope you all get grief counseling because this is one of hardest losses to get over.
My thoughts are with you.
Loves and hugs, as Dan would say,
Beth (Toughhummingbird)