Dear Donna -
I was surprised at your answer, since 'Bundle' people (such as yourself) are usually such successful Achievers in Life! However, it is true that they sometimes suffer from complex personality problems. I am thinking of a Celebrity (of sorts) who was terribly shy in public. He overcame this by acting totally flamboyant in public. He succeeded because he (literally) made himself into a Parade. And few people even suspected this other side of him.
I am not recommending that approach for you. It is obvious from your chart that you should make yourself a vessel for God. And, to this, my Guardian Angel says that you will find peace and happiness by working for God. Here is how you may discover your own inner strength.
Surely there is a local church you can join? You could begin by simply helping at social events, gradually expanding into charitable work and learning how to help others to find peace and comfort. Begin with small steps. And first, talk it over with the local Pastor or Priest. You will be delighted to find how much he will appreciate your help; and he will be very understanding as you gradually find your way.
I am not sure you should share with him the following, but my guide has assured me that within no more than a few months you will become aware that you have a very loving Guardian Angel working with you and watching over you.
About your chart. You did not send me enough information to do more here. Nor can I do a chart comparison. But I DID do a Tarot reading for you. I asked my Guardian Angel: 'What shall I say to Donna?" Here are two of the cards that came up in your reading. Quite a contrast, no? The reading that follows will explain their meaning.
1) Card Covering the Question is the Queen of Swords. You must being by becoming more receptive to the Divine Spirit. For you (this card says) the Divine Mother side of Life is what you should pray to and include in your daily meditations. Everyday look for ways that SHE nourishes and cares for all things and creatures.
2) Card Crossing the Question is the Page of Swords. All that stands in your way is your failure to -thus far, make yourself receptive to the Divine Spirit. Believe in the 'invisible angels' - they are there to help you. And, if you are fearful, how can you be receptive? Your fears set up patterns of limitation, and you are now asked to forget your fears and to open yourself to guidance from Above.
3) Card Above, the Three of Swords. This is the best that can be achieved, and it really represents your ability to Consecrate the Body of Wisdom that comes from the Divine Mother. For some, consecration may come through pain and suffering, because these can have a purifying effect. For you, and because you sense this, your own fears have stopped you from proceeding with what you really want. Paradoxically, your own fears have also caused you pain and suffering. My Guardian Angel says: drop your fear. It is time to move on.
4) Card Below, the Ten of Cups. This card, of great Good Fortune, also refers to unseen forces at work which will now change you, and turn your life around. Perhaps all it took was for you to admit how limited you felt in your life. Perhaps all it took was your willingness to ask for help (for a reading). And now that things are rolling, the rest is in your hands.
5) The Card Behind, the Page of Coins. This shows that you have begun to examine your situation with an open mind, and it specifically shows you are ready for a change. These changes will begin with simple things: new ways of thinking, and new ways of acting. Daily prayer and meditation; these will specifically connect you with the Divine Mother, and are a great way to make a start.
6) The Card Ahead, the Justice Key (11). This is a major arcane and clearly signifies new control and direction in your life. The Law here is Equilibrium, and it comes through Love and through Faith. You are also asked to meditate or pray on the following: 'How did you create those feelings of fear and limitation? And aren't you glad they are now behind you?
(The last four cards simply expand the Card Ahead).
7) The Environment, Key 19, the Sun. This shows a 'rebirth' (in the sense that St. Paul used the term. This will not happen over night, but you are now in a new environment. And working in a church (or some similar organization that helps people) WILL lay the groundwork for your own rebirth. And with this work you find peace and self-confidence and all your worries disappear.
8) Your Response, Knight of Cups. This card specifically ties to Christ, the Son. You will find inner peace, not by ringing doorbells or selling Bibles, but because the Son of the Father has become a central presence in your heart. And this presence, once felt, will stay with you forever.
9) Your Hopes and your Fears. Six of Coins. Two beggars out in the cold snow. The number six specifically ties again to the Christos. So, now you can laugh at your old fears. You can see how you actually created these fears with your own mind.
10) Your Future lies in the Two of Wands. This is you, with the world in your hand, looking out for others. The number two specifically ties to the Father. So your future is clear, You are One with the Son and are doing the Father's work. This might be in a church, or some health or relief organization. The future is yours to choose.
Blessings
Shantana