hi kingfisher thank you so much for responding so quickly, your resonse was very accurate, aim finding it very streeful trying ti find the right place and one i can afford,as far as running away from things and the wall yes i have closed off alot because of things that have happened the area i am in is very rough and i have had my home broke into had a house invasion and was beaten and peperr sprayed and other things its not the place i want to stay in, and it has affected me very negatively i am very cautuous about people,  i do feel change is necessary inorder for me to grow spiritualy thanks again and may great spirit bless you and yours