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Fettucini lately has been showing lil' signs of being jealous of the cptr time I put in and he doesn't say it mean,but he's beginning to toss digs here and there. In the beginning though, he was upset about it and I told him this was what I had been doing for yrs. So for a couple of wks. the silly lil' digs stopped coming and the asking what time I'd be in bed stopped being asked. Now a month has gone by since that mini-discussion and it's beginning again. So lately to reassure him it's not cyber sex sites I'm hanging out at I've showed him this grp and the other three I belong to as well and I let him go thru a few threads I started and/or replied to. This so he'd feel more comfy with. So then yesterday he comes home, we exchange our hellos and have some light convo. He jokinly happens to mention something about not having a bj in a long time, an issue I just bought up on the boards yesterday! LOL!!, and I say, " come w/me now. This is a perfect time to give you an example of why I like these grp and how we discuss things openly and respect eachothers opinions". He sorta dragged along knowing I was bringing him to the cptr room. I came to Hearts, came to the risque board and showed him the " I don't feel like it no more" board. He really got embarrased and then I can see a tinge of anger and then a look of embarrasment again. He said, " babe are you sure you want them to be knowing all of our life like this? I mean aren't you afraid someone will get your address and number...." I cut him off and told him that once again having lived in a really rough neighborhood he tends to be more paranoid than most and needed to chill out. I went into explaining on comforting it is for to me here somedays when he's watching his basketball and I just wanna goof off, or I'm hurting and don't want to add on another day's worth of burden to him, so I come here. Fettucini, in the end sort of understood and respects all my grps more than he did in the past. I can appreciate this one hundred percent. Sooo what I'm asking you... how much does your s/o know about how you spend your time doing online and is he/she jealous of it? |
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Our computers are in the same room. He only has to look over his shoulder to see what I'm up to but he doesn't worry. Maybe the cooling off in the bj department has him worried about your feelings for him? |
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I keep my groups to myself. Last thing I need is for a man to become jealous(which they also have) and question everything I post or read. This is my space, where I can relax, where I can say things I would never say to people close to me. Where I'm seldom judged. Share this and I've got nothing left for myself. The teacher I was dating met some from another group at a couple of parties and wanted to join the group. I wouldn't give him the link. Pissed him off. lol Glad you did share with Fabulous Fetticini Lynnie. Sounds like it worked for you. |
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Phew! What I said to you...over there, maybe might make him think a little, hopefully. I was kind! Oh, the pguy knows all about this group. He sits right behind me when he's making his bugs 'n stuff, and I can't imagine him being jealous over my time with this group. More than once (often, actually) he will say "Now, that's a question for you to pose to your group". I'm happy he's not jealous...he's just not like that. Besides, we hardly ever get out of this house. I think if it weren't for this group, I'd have a girlfriend and be getting out with her, because he generally feels like crap. So...all is well here. Matter of fact, it's time for me to head to the store...think I'll make tacos tonight! Bye for now, ya'll! |
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Yes Margo it did work for us and he's a good guy this way. Just so long as I'm communicating w/him how could we go wrong??? Robinooski, I asked him about the bj's again today and this having to do w/any insecurites he might be having about our relationship right now and he says he has absolutely now doubts about me loving him and needing to seek companionship elsewhere... and he's right. This is the man for me.. presently. LOL! KIDDING!! Peny, you and Pguy have a great relationship seems like to me and it works out. However, I've given Fettucnini a few reasons in the very beginning of our relationship to doubt me and I guess it goes on into all aspects of our lives, including the cptr time. He has told me repeatedly the trust he has instilled in him for me is 100% now and I've changed 360degrees in his eyes. His thing is he doesn't ever want to lose me for anything and my track record says I do leave whenever things look good between me and the person I'm with. I'm not going to do this to him. I did it to almost every man I've ever been with as far as being secretive, telling little lies to get out, sometimes cheated, and just simply got bored of them and tossed them out. I'm not doing this w/the 2nd good man in my life. |
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Having met my husband after he wandered into a chat room I was hosting, and getting to know him on the boards of the groups I belonged to, he knows exactly what the score is in here. He knows I'm not sniffing around other guys - nor am I dissing him on the boards (there's not a negative word to say, anyway...). Oftentimes, if a thread or a post is particularly interesting, I'll read it out to him or he'll sidle up next to me and read it for himself. We've even discussed certain topics in other groups with the kids (now teenagers). I have modified my time here drastically tho - usually coming in before work when I'm the only one awake, or when he's either not home or in the shop working on some project, or watching a show I'm not particularly interested in. Of the 3 computers we have in the house, I'm usually on the laptop tho - right in the middle of everything else rather than tucked off hidden someplace. Before we got married, I was totally addicted to the net. That seems to be the key: prioritizing family over the box. Of the two, my marriage and availability to my kids is way more important than anything that can go on in the computer (sorry guys). About the bj: Lynnie - go back to my thread in your group where I mentionned a cup of hot water. Not only will it make him crazy, cut the time WAY down, but it's also great if you happen to have jaw issues. |
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My hubby knows I'm a computer addict, he responds by being a TV addict. We're in the same room, we both aren't afraid to stop what we're doing to talk or hug on each other, and we always share. He knows of this as my "fun" group, I have a couple "mom" groups, the rest don't interest him much. I frequently tell him what someone here is going through or show him pictures or tell him jokes from here, and when we go on vacation he can't wait to meet the other Oregonians from the "fun" group too! Most recently he and the boys shared sympathies with Austin's testicular problem...all three were having "ouchie" thoughts! He only gets jealous when I talk too much about guys in real life...or if he imagines some guy pays too much attention to me...if guys flirt with me I truly don't notice, but he does. |
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Lynnie, It sounds like you have a great guy...and that you know that. You two will be fine. You have some past baggage in the sex department and sometimes that has to be worked out before you can get past it. Nothing kills desire for ANYTHING like thinking of it as something that you "should" do. Don't should on yourself and you'll do fine. |
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Yes and you're absolutey right Robinooski.  Tigger and all the rest.. you all have great guys too and I want to know why were the lucky ones to score them??? LOL! I know I should be the last one getting a 2nd shot at a good healthy relationship. Heck! I've screwed up the last one. NAH!! Seriously though we all deserve happiness and to have our own little time away doing something POSITIVE and yes as Monty has said "prioritize". Yes yes and yes. Would any gentlmen care to give us any insight on this issue? I tried to keep it real talk here guys so you wouldn't be left out. |
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my ex lives upstairs in the same house as I do he watches tv which is in the same room as this computer he doesnt care......if he did, its kinda too late ...he jokes around saying i'm on the porn sites again and i say , yes now.......my babycakes, well, he doesnt get jealous, he is on every group i am and sees anything i say , we are birds of a feather and enjoy the flirting and talking, but, in real life, i dont meet guys anymore........you know |
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NO WAY! THE EX LIVES UPSTAIRS WHERE YOU AND THE PRESENT HONEY BUNS LIVE?? Rock on Sista Witch. Ya' got it like this huh? *giggle giggle* I keep my ex's sort of floating around too, but I ain't ever lived right below them. Now this is way cool and by the likes of it, everyone gets along well huh? |
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