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New Poems Pge 1 : Pathway of Thorns
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 Message 1 of 5 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameBouncing-Fluff  (Original Message)Sent: 5/6/2004 8:06 PM

Pathway of Throns.

 

I walk this road beside you,

My feet are blistered and bruised.

You have paved this path with good intentions

But littered it with thorns.

--

Crimson shadows crawl over my skin,

As crystal tears trickle down my face.

You have inflicted these wounds upon me,

And still, you beg to be my healer.

--

You hold my hand in yours,

So tightly I know you won’t let it go.

You say I am safe, yours to keep forever,

But I am only trapped within your grip.

--

You stain my lips with your poison,

A kiss, so bitter, it burns deep inside.

I look into your eyes, fire and ice mingle in their depths,

And I know I will never break free.

--

A paper rose you give to me, a symbol of our love.

You say it’ll never wilt and die,

But how can something die when it has no soul to live?

Our love is already dead, buried beneath what used to be.

--

I walk this road beside you,

My feet are blistered and bruised.

This path was paved with good intentions

But it’s overgrown with thorns.

--

©2004 Emma J J



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Reply
 Message 2 of 5 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameBradeneSent: 5/6/2004 9:44 PM
I  love this Fluff, it has real depth and so much feeling. the fifth stanza in particular I find that really well thought out and cleverly constructed. Well written fluff, good write. love Val xx

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 Message 3 of 5 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameForestFlower5893Sent: 5/7/2004 10:36 AM
Hi Fluff
 
A lovely poem, I could feel the pain in it - The imagery you used to describe was wonderful.
 
Take care
 
Emma

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 Message 4 of 5 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameBouncing-FluffSent: 5/7/2004 5:34 PM
Hiya Val,
 
As always your feedback is great! Hehe, short but very sweet.  Thank you ever so much, i really appreciate other people's opinions because it kind of gives my writing a purpose. I do like writing poetry for myself, but there's just something else there inside it when other people say that they appreciate it too.
I think that my best poems tend to be about other people... The nice one's anyway. I used to write a lot of stuff like this poem above, particularly about pain because of how i used to feel when i started writing, but now, i write about the same stuff a lot of the time, but it's not as connected to me as it was, it's like, "from a distance" so to speak. Lol, i actually think over time my writing has got quite a bit happier and "lighter" in emotion when i'm writing about myself.
 
Thanks again Val, as always it means a lot.
 
Fluff.

Reply
 Message 5 of 5 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameBouncing-FluffSent: 5/7/2004 5:38 PM
Hi Emma,
 
Thank you for your comments, . As i have already said, it does mean a lot to me. I'm really glad though that you could feel the pain in there because that's what i always aim to do, put an emotion across to the reader and make them feel that too. Imagery usually plays a really big part in my writing because i think it's a great technique to use. I love it sometimes, because it tends to have a more powerful effect.
 
Thanks, Lv Fluff.
 
p.s hehe, my name's Emma too

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