| 1. | If you wear Calvin Klein men's undergarments you will have a good body. |
| 2. | If you drink milk you will be healthy but will also be permanently cursed with a quirky little white mustache. |
| 3. | Car Accidents are like winning the lottery...Just one call does it all!! |
| 4. | Cows have a lot of money to spend for advertising but are very poor spellers. "Eat mor chikin!" |
| 5. | Never use the number one or number two biggest of any service as number three "tries harder" |
| 6. | Peace negotiations in the "Burger Wars" have broken down. |
| 7. | If your plumber does not have "Rooter" somwhere in his name he should be considered generally unreliable. |
| 8. | You are traveling on one of the dirt roads branching off of the information superhighway unless you have cable access. |
| 9. | Gas, Food, Lodging, and information are at exit 96 when you are at exit 31. |
| 10. | You gotta love
The face you lave
Treat it right
Use Burma Shave |
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