"We hold these truths to be self evident"
Ok then why did you write them down and try to explain them to me? 

 "What goes around comes around"
     This one might be true about a ball tied by a rope to a pole, but not about much else unless you are talking celestial orbits.

 "The poorest man is he whose only wealth is money"
     Nope! I can say with some assurance that the poorest man would be the one who values only money and who has none.

  "An Ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure"
     Now this is just patently absurd as it is utterly impossible to weigh prevention although you can indeed weigh cures...for example, penicillin, sulfa drugs and ayrithimycin just to name a few. And even if you could weigh prevention, I am sure it would be much heavier and bulkier than the tiny tiny doses you get of the wonder drug cures which are usually measured in micrograms.

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away"
     Maybe, just maybe if the doctor is hyper allergic to apples and even then not if he is determined to come anyway and is loaded up with antihistamines !! 

 "Cleanliness is next to godliness"
     Not Unless it is a Dry Cleaner next to the church. Cleanliness is usually next to the toilet (a shower) or next to the heater in the basement (washing machine) but is rarely next to godliness.

  "Wisdom from the mouths of babes"
     I have never made any sense at all of this one, as the only thing that I have ever seen come from the mouths of babes is drool, incoherent babbling and regurgitated food.

 "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence"
     Ok, while I will admit that there is grass near fences, it is usually yellowish and very unhealthy, often choked out by weeds unless it is on a golf course, and then it is pretty much the same verdant green on either side of the fence. Grass as a whole is usually greener near cow patties.

" The acorn never falls far from the tree"
     Yeah....right...like an oak tree has never grown next to a cliff !! 

 "Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted"
     Nope to this one too! Frustration is what you get when you don't get what you wanted. You get experience even when you do get what you wanted.

 "The pen is mightier than the sword"
     Nope... the pen is mightier than the pencil since it is indelible.. the Gun is mightier than the sword... simple logic would tell you this.

  "The squeaky wheel gets the oil"
     More accurate here would be the squeaky wheel NEEDS the oil. Whether or not it actually gets it is up to the whims of fate and the availability of appropriate oil.

 "Honesty is the best policy"
     Term life with a buyout option is the best policy...Honesty however, may certainly be one of the best moral principles.

"It's not the heat, it's the humidity"
     This one isn't even close...Try cooking a raw steak with the humidity... 

 "Every dog will have his day"
     Given that there are millions of dogs and only 365 days each year and that the average dog only lives to about 12, I find this one highly unlikely at best.....Unless of course we are talking dog years here...then it is only slightly more probable. Every dog has his second might be plausible, but if you blinked you would miss it.

 "Even a blind squirrel will find the occasional nut"
     Not if you put him in a mall parking lot. 

 "One good turn deserves another"
  Um....and when exactly would you finally stop turning?"

"There is no fool like an old fool"
Age doesn't grant any particular distinction for being a fool....the society of the foolish embraces all ages equally. Besides... this is just a mispronunciation of a phrase coined by one of the oil companies when they first started turning out fossil fuels. It was of course "There is no fuel like an old fuel", which itself is not very accurate if you take atomic energy into consideration.

"If wishes were horses then beggars would ride"
I think it much more likely that beggars would have a nice horse  stew and a nap and continue walking. 

"Time heals all wounds"
  Um....not if you die of em first.....