MSN Home  |  My MSN  |  Hotmail
Sign in to Windows Live ID Web Search:   
go to MSNGroups 
Free Forum Hosting
 
Important Announcement Important Announcement
The MSN Groups service will close in February 2009. You can move your group to Multiply, MSN’s partner for online groups. Learn More
Odd PeopleDeemed especially "cool" by MSN.[email protected] 
  
What's New
  
  Odd People  
  Happy Odd Halloween!  
  Happy Odd Mothers' Day!  
  Happy Valentine's Day!  
  Happy Canada Day!  
  Happy Independence Day!  
  Hoppy Easter!  
  Merry Odd Christmas!  
  9-11 Remembrance  
  3701 Members  
  The Litterbox  
  All Topics  
  General  
  Ask Ubergato  
  Odd Tutorials  
  Odd Recipes  
  Odd Captions  
  Odd Games  
  Member Photos 2  
  Member Photos  
  Member Pets  
  Pictures  
  Numbers  
  Birthday Cakes  
  Odderata  
  Documents  
  Happy Hot Dog  
  Member Links  
  Try These  
  Odd Movies  
  Books  
  Music  
  Humor Links  
  Original Humor  
  At The Movies  
  Hillbilly Rap  
  Ubergatos Humor  
  Bubbles Page  
  eViL pOp TaRt's Page  
  DoodleDanD  
  HappyGuppyPuppy  
  HGP freeware picks  
  Tribble's Page  
  Odd Birthdays  
  Ubie's Stuff  
  A  
  Awards Page  
  Odd Lynx  
  Hot Links  
  Cold Links  
  Odd Stationery  
  Holiday Stationery  
  Sootsy's Stuff  
  Kudzu News  
  Ubergatos Adages  
  Billboard Wisdom  
  The Early Bird  
  Cant Eat One  
  At The Movies  
  Odd Peoples' Anniversaries and Other Things  
  
  
  Tools  
 
General : The Bra Model of Boyfriend Selection
Choose another message board
 
     
Reply
Recommend (4 recommendations so far) Message 1 of 11 in Discussion 
From: eViL pOp TaRt  (Original Message)Sent: 7/10/2002 4:12 PM
 

The theoretical models of boy friend selection merit some discussion and analysis.  It seems to me that this would be very profitable in the appropriate selection of such useful companions, and to reduce the likelihood of any understandings later on.  It is my feeling that women implicitly operate on the selection and maintenance process by having adopted one of several models:

One of these is the Good Crystal Selection Model.  This model views boyfriends as selected usually with care, and maintained over long units of time.  Doing this is labor-intensive in the selection process, and it has problems in that you cannot factor in depreciation or maintenance costs when this one is used.  Also, the use of this model does not seem to be effective for those under age 25 or so. 

Of course, you might have adopted the Unfortunate Wedding Gift Model.  This model also assumes long-term or permanent status, but without the value and appeal of the Good Crystal Selection Model.  In this case, you feel that are stuck with him and make the best of it.  In a word, strenuously resist any aunt who wants to set you up with a "fine son of her friend."

There is something to be said for the Faucet Water Filter Model.  When this one is adopted, you assume that he will be your boy friend for a limited, specified amount of time (say three months), and will then be replaced with a new one.  I am told that this is commonly done by Hollywood actresses and pop music singers.  As the song goes, "We'll sing in the sunshine."  However, maybe those selected for a year or longer should come with a warranty.

Recent news has suggested that a Individualized Module Selection Model that is in the process of being developed by Microsoft may become available in a few years.  This one allows you to have built in the specific features you want.  On the face of it, it promises some big advantages.  Let's see, you can get one who is sensitive, cultured, athletic, good-looking, loves animals, thinks you're wonderful, etc., etc.  It will be at least a decade before this will be available, and it will likely have problems in initial costs, particularly for Version 1.0.  Some additional things to be concerned with is that the program may tend to crash inopportunely and that the features likely to be offered are likely to be desired primarily by a Pacific Northwest clientele.

I propose, however, the Bra Model of boyfriend selection.  Consider this: we have quite a bit more than one bra, why not have more than one boyfriend?  Having three or four might be advantageous.  Now, there's lots of ways that this could be implemented.  One way is with each one having his own day, selected by lot.  If this is done, then you have a boyfriend for Monday, another for Tuesday, etc.  My needs are modest: I could be satisfied with four different ones, to be used in strict rotation (with a relief pitcher to come in from time to time when needed.)  After all, I need some time en famille and to keep up with my studies.

Alternatively, you could have appropriate boyfriends to fit your moods.  Now, again the lingerie metaphor is applicable here.  In the old days, there were only two basic colors: white and black.  These colors have their counterparts with the "good-boy" (white) -- "bad boy" (black) dichotomy.  This was good in the old days: you have one to misbehave with, and one to show up with on Sundays at Maw-maw's.  However, today, there are a variety of bra colors and types to fit your mood and clothing as well as your figure.  On some days, cranberry is called for, and sometimes bamboo!  Why not have boyfriends likewise?  You could coordinate them to go with your lingerie moods.  Or you could have different ones for different activities.  Let's see . . . . you could have one for hanging out with in coffee houses, one to go to the races with, one who likes to dance, one who likes to fish, one to go to "show up and look formidable" occasions, one who likes chick flicks . . . 

Oh, wait, I need to think on that one a while.  Do I really want one who likes chick flicks?
 
          


First  Previous  2-11 of 11  Next  Last 
Reply
Recommend  Message 2 of 11 in Discussion 
From: SootsySent: 7/10/2002 4:31 PM
That's cute Poptart.  If ever I'm in the market for looking for a boyfriend (hopefully never!), I'll have to keep this in mind!  Nah, don't take the one that likes chick flicks.

Reply
Recommend  Message 3 of 11 in Discussion 
From: Blind BardSent: 7/10/2002 5:13 PM
Is it a sin for a guy to be reading this? I may not relate much to the bra selection ... umm... things, but i have boxers plenty

Reply
Recommend  Message 4 of 11 in Discussion 
From: Atomic DogSent: 7/10/2002 7:43 PM
This has an odd degree of reasonableness about it.  Good story, ept.

Reply
Recommend  Message 5 of 11 in Discussion 
From: UbergàtoSent: 7/10/2002 10:34 PM
     I think the 3 month plan is a good one. You can get in the swing of the relationship and if it is still prospering at the end of the initial trial period, you can renew the option for another 3 months. This three month ending and beginning could also be the occasion for you ladies to garner increased gifts to celebrate 3 month anniversaries.  Well thought out PopTart! :>)
     Ubergato (Overcatus Moduleus)

Reply
Recommend  Message 6 of 11 in Discussion 
From: ^Bubbles^Sent: 7/11/2002 1:27 AM
Hmmm....I have bras older than most men. LOL EPT!

Reply
Recommend  Message 7 of 11 in Discussion 
From: Belle Dame Sans TetonsSent: 7/11/2002 5:10 PM
Sometimes you don't need a boy friend, and . . . . 

Reply
The number of members that recommended this message. 0 recommendations  Message 8 of 11 in Discussion 
Sent: 11/7/2006 7:32 PM
This message has been deleted due to termination of membership.

Reply
Recommend  Message 9 of 11 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameSonoran_ShutterbugSent: 11/8/2006 12:06 AM
A very witty, clever, and funny piece, your Evil Pastryness!  Thank you for sharing it. 

Reply
Recommend  Message 10 of 11 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nicknamejaguar-colSent: 7/31/2007 3:55 PM
Very interesting is this

Reply
Recommend  Message 11 of 11 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameAttackingToadSent: 8/1/2007 11:03 AM
I haTe Bra'S    

First  Previous  2-11 of 11  Next  Last 
Return to General