Re: #6:
Twisted, baked, mutilated, sh*t-faced, Blotto, Obliterated, tanked, tight (oldie), loose, numb, trashed, bombed, altered.....um....that's all fer now.
How about
a few french fries short of a Happy Meal or
not the sharpest crayon in the box
or one of my faves for stupidity:
"He's a real mouth-breather."
lol