Angus McBride lives a few miles down the road from me. Me and the boys call him Yank. You see, Angus comes from New Hampshire. He wandered down this a way 'bout five years ago with his wife Peg and an old dog named Rascal. Angus is a little older than us but we sorta brought him into our little group of misfits and I'll have to say he fit right in. Well sir, one day I was over at ol' Angus's enjoying one of Pegs Pecan pies she makes so well and I finally got around to asking Angus how he came to come down here to the Texas Panhandle from way up there in the Northeast. Well, Angus looked up at Peg and I saw him give a little grin and Peg came out with a "Ha" and wiping her hands on a dish cloth walked out of the kitchen leaving us there with the pecan pie and Angus's story.
Angus said that he had been borned and raised in a little town up there in New Hampshire, worked at odd jobs after he had gotten out of high school , met Peg who at that time worked at the town's only movie theater , and soon after that married her. Well, after a while he took a job working at the bridge tower just outside town. He was soon promoted to Draw bridge operator . He worked there for quite a few years and somehow fell into politics and decided one day he would run for mayor of the little burg.
Well, about that time , a farmer named Haskle , who owned a small farm about 5 miles from the little town, had a problem. One of the mules he had been taking care of for the army ( They used them in parades and such) , had become constipated. Well, Angus went to the vet and the vet gave him a bottle of some kind of oil and told Angus that he needed to get a funnel and put it in the mules rear and pour this oil in side him and that it would loosen him up. Now Angus isn't the brightest man in the world , being a Yankee and all forgot to get a funnel. Well the only thing he had that resembled a funnel was an old army bugle that hung out there in the barn Peg held the mule's head and Angus lifted that mules tail and crammed that bugle in and reached back behind him for the oil. Unfortunately there wasa bottle of terpintine sitting right beside the oil and Angus got that instead. He poured it in and I',m telling you when that terpitine hit bottom that mule had a real crazy spell. It kicked and snorted and almost knocked Peg out of the barn .
She fell down on the floor and off went that mule braying to the top of its lungs and hightailing it down the road towardtown. Well the gas that had built up inside that mule started releasing in little squirts and when it did it would sound off that bugle. The mule wasn'tabout to stop. It just kept on running and blowing that bugle all the way to town.
Well sir, when it came to the draw bridge , Angus heard that bugle sound off and thinking it was a commecial boat raised the draw bridge. As it was a coming up the mule ran up on it and when it got to where the bridge split it just ran off and fell in the river. Sadly the mule drowned because it had hit the water so hard it had knocked the mule senseless and it took in too much water.
Angus said he had to leave a little while later because he had become the laughing stock of the whole town. Of coarse he lost the election with people saying they didn't want a mayor that didn't know the difference between a boat horn and a bugle in a mules rear.
After he finished the story we just sat there looking at one another. I got up from the table and picked up my cap and as I left I turned to Angus and grinned and said " I don't believe Ida told that one Yank"
Free Forum Hosting
Important Announcement
Recommend
First 
Recommend
Return to All Message Boards