|  My Dear Friends I posted this story in a shorter form recently on the general board. Today I found the abuse shelter, and thought I would add my story with a bit more detail. I am not asking for sympathy, I just want people to know what domestic violence is like, and to know that you CAN get out. It may be hard, but if I can do it, so can you. My prayers are with all of the people that live with abuse, in the many forms it takes. May the Creator help you all out of this situation. May he heal those whose wounds are visible to the world, or hidden away, deep inside. I keep a journal, and I am copying this directly from it. I hope that it may help someone else. I met a man that i thought was a pretty nice fellow…except he was not a nice fellow once he started using drugs and drinking, about two years into our relationship. Before that time, he was sober as a judge, and an extremely thoughtful and caring man. Only a little at first, then more and more, he began to drink and use hard drugs, until the drugs became his life. I was just there to make sure things ran along smoothly. Yes, he used me shamelessly, and made me feel like everything was my fault. Or I should say, I allowed him to make me feel like our problems were my fault, for we are each and every person responsible for our own actions. We were together for seven years…it took me five to realise I had to get out, two to get off my rear and do it, only a few months to save the money, find a place, and move. I was forced to move under police protection, hauling away three loads of my things in my Nellie Bell, and leaving everything else behind. He stayed out all night. He stole from me. He stole my meds. He stole my daughters medications. He wrecked my cars. He came darn near wrecking my spirit. In the end, he was more than a verbal abuser, which, btw, he was very good at, and I was very good at allowing him to make me feel unworthy, unloved, unlovable. Ashamed to express distrust…because ‘he loves me…he did not MEAN it�? I wonder who I was trying to fool....the world, or myself? Before all was said and done, I had looked down the barrel of a pistol, held barely 3 inches from my face. I was dragged from the bed while asleep, by my hair�?this separated my scalp from my head. I was knocked down with his truck in a gravel…no, a rocky�?driveway. He drove away and left me. I saw stars. A little later…maybe he was afraid I was dead? He drove around the block, picked my head up from the rocks…again by my hair, on the same night I was dragged from my bed, saw my eyes were opened…dropped my head back down. “oh, you will be ok�?…back in his truck and gone. Bruises covered the whole right side of my body, where I was knocked onto the rocks. They were there for weeks, and still i 'covered' for him. I told everyone I fell. HA !!! I have had a machete wielded at me…have had food and dishes thrown at me…been belittled and betrayed. I was forced to get a restraining order against him, but that only made him madder. He was very specific when he told me he would "slice my neck." When the police served the warrants on him ( they... the police... pressed the charges. I was too afraid to do it myself ) they found a large knife in his truck...and he had been on the way to my new home! As a result, three misdemeanors became three misdemeanors and one felony. Sad to say, his case just disappeared. POOF !!! I got no answers from the detective on my case, Brian Jones, or from my so-called counselor/advocate, Caroline R. Carte. I name names because these people are responsible for the safety of the people they serve, and in my case, did not do their jobs. How many other people get away with these terrible things because the justice system just lets the cases disappear? But I got beyond ALL of that�?I am a stronger woman for everything I have been through, and wiser, as well. I thank the Creator every single day for helping me find the strength to get my Angel and I out of that situation, and for making it possible for me to do so. 
Peace love and light, Nona 
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