Many people ask, "Why does she stay?"  (I'm using the feminine pronoun here but keep in mind that men can also be victims.  The reasons are many:

 

> FEAR----which can take many forms

> He'll kill me if I try to leave (leaving IS the most dangerous time for a victim)

> He'll kill himself (and it does happen)

> I have nowhere to go

> I have no money

> I have no income

> I have no childcare

> I'll have no way to get to work

> My children need a father

> He told me I'd never see my kids again

> If I try to leave him, he'll take the kids away

> Divorce is against my religious beliefs

> He promised never to hurt me again--maybe he means it this time

> It's my fault----I need to change......

> No one will believe me

> Maybe I'm the crazy one---everyone else thinks he's a great guy

> The police said they'd arrest both of us if I called again

> I still love him and want to help him

> He's okay as long as he doesn't drink/do drugs

> My friends/family tell me I should learn to live with it

> I'll lose everything I've worked so hard for

> I don't want to make trouble for my child (adult abused by an adult child)

 

I have heard every single one of these reasons stated by the survivors I work with and every single one is a valid concern.  It takes a great deal of strength and courage to leave an abusive relationship.  It also takes lots of support from friends, family, and community resources.  Please do your part to support victims of domestic violence.