Step Three Welcome to the Step 3 page of www.the12steps.com For a list of the Twelve steps click here

STEP 3 <O:P> </O:P>

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as I understood him.<O:P> </O:P><O:P></O:P>

This step was the first time that I can say I practiced humility.  I got down on my knees along with my sponsor and did the STEP 3, PRAY.<O:P> </O:P><O:P></O:P>

In doing that small act of humility, what I was saying was, that my past actions, reactions to life's ways, had caused the pain and that I did not know what was best for me.  So from now on I was going to TRY and accept life on life?s terms.  The tools I needed for this spiritual journey back to sanity was courage, tolerance, patience, honesty, gratitude, and awareness. If I had these in my life, this would mean less friction.  Less friction. That is what I see the spiritual path leading to.  These cause social lubrication; they stop friction between myself and other people.  <O:P></O:P><O:P></O:P>

That is what it is all about. Peace of mind!<O:P>. </O:P><O:P></O:P><O:P>For Books About Step 3 Click here</O:P>

Today I know that peace of mind is not about having no problems whatsoever, but about learning to deal with problems.  So does handing over to a higher power now mean that I will never experience the 3 ?D?s, Death, Disease or Disappointment ever again?.  Does it mean now that all my bills will be paid, and every person I meet from now on will be polite, courteous, friendly and do everything I wish?!, ?If only people would do as I want, when I want, where I want, how I want, would not life be OK for me?? No, it means EFFORT from me, plenty of EFFORT to accept life and life?s events.  That is a major key to understanding, it does not mean you agree but you understand!  St Frances Pray, "It is better to understand than to be understood?, trying to get people to understand my way of thinking just caused me agony.  I can see that so clearly now.  So, if I can understand the other person then I don?t get any friction.  Simple!. Constantly wondering why the world was such a cruel place, wondering why my favourite people had died so young.  Today, I understand that as I sow I shall reap.  If I worry about all the people who gossip and slander I will always feel Dis-eased (he who talks to you about them, will talk to them about you).  If I steal, guilt and a fear of being found out will loom.<O:P> </O:P><O:P></O:P>

I have never enjoyed an argument, violence, stealing, hatred, anxiety, fear, rage, grief, or tension, all of these are symptoms of me wanting life on my terms.  But understanding, tolerance, patience, honesty, courage, awareness, these lead to peace and a none tormented mind!<O:P> </O:P><O:P></O:P>

I made a decision to write this web page.  I thought it out, I planned it, its content, its style, but it was not a decision until I actually picked up a pen and started  writing!.  So handing my will over to a higher power means quite simply that if I am stuck at traffic lights, and I don?t want to be there, and I start getting angry, that I suffer.  But if I have patience, then I will not suffer.  Patience is then in that case, handing my will over to the care of God as I understand it.  What I will never know is that if I had not been at those lights then maybe I would of skidded off the road, or a wagon would of hit me, killing or causing serious injury!  But I am at the lights, waiting, and in once piece.<O:P> </O:P><O:P></O:P><O:P>For Books About God Click here</O:P>

So, I understand that Gods will for me, is for me to be happy, joyous and free!. And I can be those, even if dying by acceptance but not wanting any of these things to be different.<O:P> </O:P><O:P></O:P>

How simple it is now to see that 90% of my pain was caused by not wanting people, places and later events to be different.  Acceptance lubricates and stops friction.<O:P> </O:P>

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            3 ?D?s    DEATH<O:P> </O:P>

                        DIS-EASE (Physical and Emotional)<O:P> </O:P>

                        DIS-APPOINTMENT<O:P> </O:P>

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            4 ?A?s     ACCEPTANCE<O:P> </O:P>

                        APPROVAL<O:P> </O:P>

                        APPRECIATION<O:P> </O:P>

                        APPLAUSE<O:P> </O:P>

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The 3 ?D?s will effect every singe person and there is no escape from them. I do not write that to make you depressed but to see that they are reality!!. By accepting it lubricates and stops friction.  So instead of asking why, ask how can I learn to accept.  Remember by accepting it does not mean that you agree, but it means you stop turmoil, torture and torment of the mind.  By stopping wanting of people, places, past, present, etc. To be different, we start to get peace of mind <O:P> </O:P>

The 4 ?A?s  <O:P></O:P>

If like me, you want acceptance, approval, appreciation and applause and went to any lengths to be liked, respected and thought good of, well I am sure you have suffered greatly!. I discovered that if your are ugly, beautiful, fat, thin, rich, poor, sad, glad, educated, illiterate, tall, short, verbal, quiet, drunk, sober, clean, using spiritual, aggressive, religious, non religious, whatever, you will be criticised.  That is a fact!<O:P>. </O:P><O:P></O:P>

If you are on a spiritual path, you will be criticised less.  You will have more chance of living in peace and harmony.  Seek the 4 ?A?s by none spiritual means and life will be a torment.<O:P> </O:P><O:P></O:P>

But live a blameless life and you will have friends who want you for what you are not what you die!.

There is less chance of drinking, using, or going back to my suffering if I am on a path of spirituality.  If I am seeking the 4 ?A?s there is more chance of me going back to my negative ways,  Living a blameless life means in short, do not be arrogant, argumentative, or aggressive.  But, be polite, gentle, kind and do not seek reward. That way you will not be disappointed.