List Each Resentment<O:P>  </O:P>

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Remember that "moral" means standards you have from yourself or other people.<O:P> </O:P>

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A FEW EXAMPLES OT TAKING A MORAL INVENTORY<O:P> </O:P>

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RESENTMENT<O:P> </O:P>

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This resentment can be undone by thinking ?Is my wife with me now??.

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?Well, to be honest, I have chatted up other men?s wives and girlfriends?<O:P>. </O:P>

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RESENTMENT<O:P> </O:P>

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WHO<O:P> </O:P> Fred<O:P> </O:P>

WHY<O:P> </O:P> He came into work late, he is always doing it, I have to do more work and the boss gets angry<O:P> </O:P>

DEFECTS<O:P> </O:P> Impatience, Self Pity, Dishonesty.<O:P> </O:P>  <O:P> </O:P> Impatience ? I want him to be on time<O:P> </O:P> Self Pity ? Poor me<O:P> </O:P>  <O:P> </O:P> Dishonesty ? Have I ever been late?<O:P> </O:P>  <O:P> </O:P>

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RESENTMENT<O:P> </O:P>

WHO<O:P> </O:P> Mary<O:P> </O:P>

WHY<O:P> </O:P> She dumped me for someone else<O:P> </O:P>

DEFECTS<O:P> </O:P> Self Pity, Pride, Self-centredness, Dishonesty<O:P>. </O:P>  <O:P> </O:P> Self Pity ? Poor me, how could she doe that to me?<O:P>. </O:P>  <O:P> </O:P> Pride ? What will people think?<O:P>. </O:P>  <O:P> </O:P> Dishonesty ? Have I ever finished with anyone?<O:P>. </O:P>  <O:P> </O:P> Self-Centeredness ? You are only thinking of your happiness, in fact you want to take her prisoner!<O:P>. </O:P>  <O:P> </O:P>

If you look at this resentment you will see the cause of the reaction, I resented Mary because she finished with me, but had I ever finished a relationship?, Yes, would I have liked her to resent you? Would you have wanted her to put emotional handcuffs on  you?, No.  Then don?t do it to her!.

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Dishonesty is resenting someone for something that you have done yourself.<O:P> </O:P>

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When you look at the right hand column you start to see the real problem and that peace of mind will not come if you hang on to your resentments.  Practice the opposite of the defect box and peace and freedom will flow in!.

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In short, I may of had the worst childhood, or the worst parents/wife/girlfriend.  They may have abused me psychologically or sexually by resenting, by hating them, they are still abusing me!.  We have to learn to accept our past.  That does not mean I agree, but I stop hurting myself by making the mind spin around by wanting my life to be different!.  That is the cause of my emotion, wishing it had been different.<O:P> </O:P>

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Again I had to learn that if I wanted peace of mind, acceptance is the key to the doorway that will lead me out of misery!.  I owe it to myself to let the past go.<O:P> </O:P>

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If someone walked into the room now and hit you on the head with a hammer and then dropped the hammer on the floor and ran out,  would you pick the hammer up and carry on hitting yourself, no, it would be madness, but with resentment we do carry on doing it to ourselves.  Remember, resentment means to re-feel!!  So we re-feel every time we hate them, resent them, despise them or want to get back at them.  They have won!.  You are still suffering. Ask yourself how many weeks, months, years that you have had this resentment!  Let it go.<O:P> </O:P>

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If you hair went on fire now you would rush to water and put the fire out. But  because of your instincts to survive or self preserve would kick in and take over.  But with resentment we watch the fire and blame someone for lighting it!.  They are at fault, look what they did to me all those years ago.<O:P> </O:P>

FEARS<O:P> </O:P>

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It was suggested to me that I should list all of my fears. Just like I did my resentments.<O:P> </O:P>

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FEARS<O:P> </O:P> People<O:P> </O:P>  <O:P> </O:P>  <O:P> </O:P>  <O:P> </O:P>  <O:P> </O:P>  <O:P> </O:P>  <O:P> </O:P>  <O:P> </O:P>  <O:P> </O:P>  <O:P> </O:P>  <O:P> </O:P>  <O:P> </O:P> Death<O:P> </O:P>

WHY<O:P> </O:P> I think they will see me blush<O:P> </O:P>  <O:P> </O:P>  <O:P> </O:P>  <O:P> </O:P>  <O:P> </O:P>  <O:P> </O:P>  <O:P> </O:P>  <O:P> </O:P>  <O:P> </O:P>  <O:P> </O:P>  <O:P> </O:P>  <O:P> </O:P> I don?t want to die<O:P> </O:P>

DEFECTS<O:P> </O:P> Pride, Self Pity!, Arrogance<O:P> </O:P>  <O:P> </O:P> Pride ? What people think of me<O:P>?. </O:P>  <O:P> </O:P> Self Pity ? They will laugh at me and I will run away<O:P>. </O:P>  <O:P> </O:P> Arrogance - Who am I to be laughed at?.<O:P> </O:P>  <O:P> </O:P> Self Pity<O:P> </O:P>  <O:P> </O:P> Self Pity ? Poor me, I am going to die.<O:P> </O:P>  <O:P> </O:P>  <O:P> </O:P>  <O:P> </O:P>

 

This is one of the biggest fears I have come access in my time whilst going through and doing the steps with people.<O:P> </O:P>

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Self-Pity is the trigger!.

Acceptance sets you free.  Think that every time you become obsessed with death, you are killing your joy for life.  Say to yourself, ?Am I alive now??.- If you are, enjoy your life, help people, try and get out of self-obsession.<O:P> </O:P>

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A Buddhist way of getting over the fear of death is by meditation on your own death.  We will cover this in step 11.<O:P> </O:P>

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I once said to a Buddhist monk, ?I am scared of dying, what can I do??.  He said ?You are going to be very disappointed one day!?  That was my answer, ACCEPTANCE.<O:P> </O:P>

SEXUAL CONDUCT

It was suggested to me that I list all of my sexual exploits and see if my pursuit of sex had lead me to be selfish, dishonest, had it caused resentment ? had I taken chances where I could of caught some dis-ease, had I effected my dignity or someone else's?.  <O:P></O:P>

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The idea behind this is to look,  and to see that a bit of hugging, puffing and a few squelching noises, I put a lot of effort into the pursuit of it.<O:P> </O:P>

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In short list, your sexual exploits and weigh it up.<O:P> </O:P>

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If you are frigid, talk about!.

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GUILT<O:P> </O:P><O:P>For Books About Guilt Click here</O:P>

It was suggested to me that I list all of my guilt's.  When I wrote them down it seemed that I resented myself!.  I could write forever about guilt, but I will keep it very short.<O:P> </O:P>

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I wrote my guilt?s down. I soon learnt that "Guilty" was not a punishment from God, but a feeling that was telling me that what I did in the past was not my true character, if it had of been, I would not be feeling guilty!.  So I became willing to make amends (See Steps 8 and 9) and that I did.<O:P> </O:P>

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Guilt is alright before the event when the head thinks ?If I do that I will not feel right because I will hurt someone?.  So that is what guilt is about, stopping you doing something that will cause harm.  So look at your guilt's.  Make amends, where needed and forget it!.  (I bet your thinking, "It's alright for you, but if you had my Catholic, Jewish, Muslim etc, guilt", you would be tormented).  Well I was tortured by guilt but I am not now!.  Why, because I did what my sponsor said, and truly realised that guilt was not a punishment but a feeling telling me that what I did at that time was a combination of what was going on in my life at that time!.  It was telling me it was not my true character!<O:P> </O:P>

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In short, drop your guilt as you would a ton weight on your shoulders, because the longer you carry it the more damage it does, and in the end you will buckle under the weight<O:P>

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