This is an account from a recent entry in my journal, its been on my mind lately... guess my brain is not yet ready to shelve it, lol ...
July 10 .04
.... went to watch Nym's baseball game, but spent the morning loafing around in a shaded patch of grass trying out a new set of meditations. Went for lunch, then returned for the second game.
My original shady spot was now sun drenched so I looked around for a new patch ... saw a huge tree just on the edge of the ball field with a great view straight through to home plate. I set up blanket and chair, grabbed my book to await the game start... no good. I stretched out on the blanket only to be jabbed every time I moved, had the feeling of being watched, sudden infestation of bugs (flying and crawling) things dropping on me from the branches over head (nuts, twigs & dead leaves) finally couldn't stand it anymore, it was stifling hot and I actually started feeling hostile... towards a tree??? Packed everything up and started for the car figuring I'd go sit on the benches.
I reached the car and just happened to look up across the parking lot. There about a 100-150 feet away was a deep green pocket of shade under a beech(?) tree ... the grass looked thick and there was a picnic table not far from it where I could do some writing or reading. It was too far from the baseball game to see anything, but I was hostile and irritable by this point and feeling totally unsocial. So off I went, dragging everything with me after I let the kids know where I was headed. As soon as I reached the spot, it was like walking into a tiny oasis ... kicked my sandals off immediately to sink my feet in the lush grass, the sounds from the games seemed hushed and far away and the temperature seemed 10 degrees cooler ... could feel my mood lightening by the minute. I set up the lawn chair, propped my feet up and opened my book enjoying the cool breeze. I know I read the same paragraph at least twice and couldn't focus on what I was reading, the drowsy's came on like a tide as I relaxed in the cool quiet shade. Closed my eyes, then decided I didn't want to sleep sitting up, lol. So I spread the blanket in the grass and lay down ... I lay there staring up at the sun through the tree then began a meditation exercise known as The Camera ... wasn't able to complete it since the kids showed up and started talking and carrying on as a pair of 8 & 9 year olds do. Finally sent them on there way and went back 'into my head' having been practicing various techniques most of the day left me in a slightly 'loose' frame of mind and exceedingly calm.
As I laid there I felt good ... actually found myself smiling for no reason other then I felt good. I was laying on my side with my back towards the tree and eyes closed when I felt something lean against me. I thought it was my daughter sneaking up on me and leaning across my side... from hip to breast was a distinct pressure. I opened my eyes and realized that I was still alone, I didn't move just closed my eyes again and tried to push the envelope of awareness farther then my personal space. As I did this I felt something shift slightly (though I remained motionless) and a band of intense buzzing started in the area of the pressure ... it was like whatever was leaning on me was leaning INTO me.... a band of my flesh and muscle about 4-6 inches deep from hip to breast was vibrating like a a swarm of buzzing bees! It didn't hurt in the least, in fact I had the urge to laugh because it almost tickled. I turned my mind towards this sensation, trying to figure out just exactly what was going on... it was definitely an outside/in pressure. I couldn't connect with whatever it was, but I remember wondering what would happen if it spread across my whole body ... thats when everyone suddenly found me and invaded the peace... the game was over and it was time to head out. I tried to encourage Nym to have a nap in the grass, I wasn't ready to stop my investigations ... but whatever it was had gone as suddenly as it appeared.
I am still uncertain as to what happened there under the tree, I do know that I was fully conscious, very aware and deeply relaxed ... but other then that, I'm not sure. I mentioned it in passing to Nym... who is used to my weirdness, lol and she mentioned that the town is 100% indian land and always has been... does that play into it? I dunno. Was it forest loci (spirits)? I dunno. Was it the spirits of the trees themselves I tuned in (or picked up, met ...) .. one hostile the other not? again, I dunno.
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