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| | From:  IamFeathers (Original Message) | Sent: 7/9/2008 7:43 PM |
I think I've used a couple of these.
1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY
GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.
3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.
4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN' T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES; NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE
STAIRS.
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Love it!! Who's Bill? Annie |
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Ohhh, that Bill.  Annie |
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 Oh Annie...you are funnier than the joke! |
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I've always been a sucker for home remedies.....boy, was I really a sucker this time! Couldn't wait to open this thread! Ok....who wants to hold my veggies in the morning... Crystal PS. Good one, Dale! |
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Oh good night!! ... and here I thought I would learn some short cuts and tips... But this was even better ... you silly thing  hehehehe I'll have to copy and share.... |
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Ha ha.....good tips. But I still don't get the "Bill" thing ? ? ? . . . . . Barb |
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Okay, I gotta little help from a friend . . . I think I "get" the Bill thing now. But I never would have guessed . . . .  Old dense Barb p.s. ~ thanks to my "little bird" that clued me in ! |
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| | | From: Indy75 | Sent: 7/11/2008 2:25 PM |
I might decide to divorce Bill for all the hassle he is giving me. His life is too unpredictable and slow for me. He sometimes shows up and sometimes not. He just slows me down so much and it is affecting me. I need either valium or alchohol I think after dealing with him. Those blank stares he gives me are horrible. I hate starring into white pages. He never tells me he is going to make havoc in my life. A little warning would be nice. I can't get anything done when he has meddled into things. So I have to consider divorcing "Bill" and going on with life without him. Maybe I will give him another chance but chances are running out. I want a change.\! I want consistency. I need alittle zip in my life. I need him to show up when I need him not be just starring into space wondering where he is. Do you think I should give him another chance or give him the bad news. I am divorcing him and going for maybe a more consistent partner. Do you think "Yahoo" would be a more suitable mate? Okay "Bill" a divorce might be on the table! "Yahoo might have more to offer me in a consistent, on time life. Wonder if I get alimony? Lol! just having fun! Indy |
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| | | From: Indy75 | Sent: 7/11/2008 2:27 PM |
Can you believe this! This post is in the wrong thread! Oh my Gosh. I seen Barbs post and posted. Thought it was the other post. See it proves it is not all "Bills" fault! I'm losing it also. I guess he has grounds for divorce! Lol! Indy |
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I don't know what goes on in PA, if it's maybe the water? but it looks like I need to move north and have some of that water  |
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| | | From: Indy75 | Sent: 7/11/2008 2:56 PM |
No Etta it is not the water! I just stared at a blank white page for long enough and lost my mind! I keep telling you it's Bill's fault! Indy |
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I got a lot of "white pages" this morning Indy. I had to hit refresh a couple of times before I could get a real page. I guess we are on "fiber optic" now.... they were doing a lot of digging out on the main road, and then some guy from AT&T came to the door and gave me a brochure all about AT&T U-Verse, and said we're on it now, instead of our old DSL. That's the first I heard about it. It's just our phone & computer. We can get their "Dish TV" if we want to subscribe, but we like DirecTV better. One of our kids changed to Dish TV, but didn't keep it long. He didn't like it at all. This just happened in the past week or two, so I don't know if the computer is affected in any way or not. Don't think so. I think the white pages must just be something fluky, since you have been getting it too. Barb |
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Same here Barb and I emailed Annie to complain and she had much the same experience... It's not us, it's MSN <sigh> |
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Don't mess with your computer!! This has been going on for days and not just to a few of us but to many of us. It is cycling across the states and then backtracking and getting us again. Steve Ballmer, chief executive officer of Microsoft. That's who we fuss at now and leave poor old Bill alone. Annie |
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Don't forget that "it" made its way up to Canada a few days ago!! It isn't just picking on you United Statesians! lol Abby |
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