Wit, Sarcasam and Artistic Musings

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WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?

My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.

God bless America. Thank you and good night.

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.

__________________

It would be a Republican. Probably President Dick Cheney.

Nope I'm thinking Libritarian or Reformist. Seeing as how THAT'S not going to happen for a spell, I'm thinking we'll never here this.

I like it. Too bad we can't get a president like that.

I don't like it. Too cut and dried...there's the hell of a lot of complexities that are ignored in such a simplistic response. I'm sure the Ethiopian gov't or Haitian gov't didn't help us in Iraq. Politics or economy? So, according to this model, we further impoverish poverty stricken nations?

I've held a starving Haitian child in my arms, and heard the mother beg me to take her child so he would live. Do you know what it would take for a mother to offer her child to a total stranger? She wasn't heartless...she was broken hearted and entirely without choices.

I'd rather think of people rather than systems that are inherently corrupt.

Not sure it is worth responding to, but her goes anyway.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

Good advice - France spends over twice as much on foreign aid as the USA does.

Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care.

Mostly they do care. Someone has to. Global warming and pollution are international events. If the USA does not do something positive about the environment, the diplomatic pressure the USA is currently experiencing will become something firmer.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.

Very many of them already can - Arabic is a major world language.

If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.

That ought to take me onto the Soviet role in defeating the Germans in the 1940s - the last time there was any threat to our culture and civilisation - but I will leave that for the time being.

You are a HORSE'S ASS

Love ya all also. The simple basis of my opinion is that I am tired of Americans dieing in a war that can not be won. I am tired of my tax dollars being spent for supposed good causes but, in a corrupt manner. I am tired of being hated because I am an American. (Yes it is true. My daughter just got back from 2 weeks in Italy. There were areas she visited that the inhabitants wouldn't interact with them because they are American).

Lastly.......The last time I checked this group is comprised of people of intelligence. We have the rare luxury in the groups to be able to discuss our thoughts. Resorting to name calling without stating ones thoughts or origins of their opinion shows a lack of being able to create an intelligent arguement. I can respect anothers opinion but, only if they can express it beyond a simplistic, juvenile 5 word insult. Just my opinion.

Differences of opinions are what make for interesting conversations.

Perhaps you would like to tell us your opinions on the presented topic, rather than calling Trigger a horses ass for his.

I am also tired of handing out money to countries, who's citizens don't appreciate it. If your country has never accepted aid from us... say so. If your country has never asked for military help or protection ... say so.

This country has taken a lot of flack for the Iraq war... but do you really want a nation, who's religion says they will be rewarded in heaven for killing non-belivers ... a place where suicide bombers are considered heros ... A place that obviously cares not one whit for human rights or life ... do you want that nation to have the capability to blow your country off the planet? An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. It's a little late for a change of attitude, when some fanatic pushes a button.

I'm not a Bush supporter, but the american public is tired of being spit on. Guaranteed, we are the first that will be asked for help, if your country is attacked.

greyingred

interesting attitude Trigger and very simplistic, zenophobic and down tootin stupidly selfish

Is zenophobic the Aussie spelling for xenophobia?

Simplistic.. stupidly selfish...fear of foreigners ? ... How much does your country do in the world, to relieve hunger in other countries? Does your government jump to the defense of foreign women, that are treated like chattel? Do they do anything to stop the mass murders of dictators? Anything for human rights?

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

Good advice - France spends over twice as much on foreign aid as the USA does.

How would you define foreign aid? money to run the government?

food for the hungry? protection against stronger countries?

I have no idea how much money the USA has spent over the years bolstering corrupt dictators (but it is a very great deal) and so cannot compare that to how much France spends. As far as feeding the hungry and helping countries protect themselves, France spends more. Not in total as France only has about 1/6 or 1/7 of the population of the USA (but France spends nearly half what the USA doers, despite being much smaller), but both as a share of GNP (USA 0.17%, France 0.47%)and as $s per person it spends more.

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