Another Day In The Life of Ubergato

or

Ubie Gets Famous!

One of the nighttime news shows has decided to do a feature starring our Ubergato. You know, one of those "Primetime, 20/20, Dateline thingies". We were lucky enough to obtain a transcript and some still photos from the interviews.

Setting:

Two cozy chairs in Ubie’s livingroom, the glow from the lamp casting a soft light over the participants. The interviewer is "Stone Sawyer" of FBC news (Feline Broadcasting Company), hereafter referred to as SS.

SS: It’s very nice to finally meet you, Mr. Gato.

Ub: Well thank you very much. It’s an honor to be here. But call me Ub.

SS: Ok. Let’s get down to business, shall we?

Ub: By all means.

SS: You seem to be getting quite a reputation on the Internet.

Ub: Oh! Is that good or bad I wonder?

SS: You tell me.

Ub: I consider it a good thing. I like being different or "odd". In fact, I revel in it.

SS: Are you aware that you are beginning to have a cult following?

Ub: Oh my God! Me?

SS: Yes, you. There are Ubergato fan clubs springing up all over the world and there is even talk of an Ubergato movie. But they are having trouble finding someone to "play" you.

Ub: Well I didn’t know things had progressed to this extent. (Hmmm�?maybe I can give up my carpet cleaning jobs!)

SS: Well enough of the pleasantries. I want you to take a look at a few pictures and give me your comments. Take a look at this one.

Ub: Aargh!!! I would rather not think about the time that this was taken. Put it away! Please!

SS: Come on Mr. Gato. You must fill me in.

Ub: Oh all right then. Fumble and Bubbles, my Assistant Managers, had loudly complained about my special feline odor and the flea circus I had living on my body. So they took matters into their own hands and decided to "freshen" me up a bit before chat one night. As you can tell, cats do not appreciate water very much.

SS: Yes it’s quite obvious by your expression.

Ub: Um, er, yes, I think I will have to have a talk with those girls.

SS: Let’s move on to this next pic. What are your feelings on this?

Ub: Oh my! Where ever did you get this?

SS: FBC has vast resources, Mr. Gato. (Bubbles!)

Ub: Oh my, I was hoping this would never come to light. Well you know we all go through phases in our lives. And er, um�?

SS: And what kind of phase was this?

Ub: Well if you must know, it was my "getting in touch with my feminine side" phase.

SS: It looks like you succeeded.

Ub: Well thank you…I guess. I suppose I was trying to "find" myself. I tried a lot of things back then. Things I am not too proud of these days. You know, all the standard stuff�?alcohol…drugs…I even overdosed on flea medication once.

SS: And what has that taught you? Did you learn any lessons?

Ub: I learned to pick my friends carefully. And that you don’t have to do what the other are doing just to have a good time.

SS: Very wise words.

Ub: Thank you.

SS: Moving on. We found out that you like to cook and that you really get into your food. Well more exactly, your meal preparation.

Ub: Yes I like to consider myself a connoisseur of Epicurean delights.

Ss: Ala Galloping Gourmet?

Ub: Neigh, I don’t eat horse food. Heh, heh! I studied under the great Julia Child for a time. She taught me that you have to put a little of yourself in your cooking as seen by this picture:

SS: What is your favorite dish to prepare?

Ub: Anything with fish of course! When I see food, I eat it! Get it? - seafood, see food!

SS: You have a unique sense of humor.

Ub: Well that’s what makes me odd.

SS: Yes back to Odd. What made you decide to form the "Odd People Community"?

Ub: I wanted a place for people to come together and enjoy their oddness. Not everyone marches to the same drummer you know.

SS: Why do you think that Odd People is so popular?

Ub: It’s the people who inhabit it, of course! We don’t denigrate anyone for having a different outlook on things. But we keep it g-rated so it is safe viewing for all ages. May I add one more thing?

SS: Of course.

Ub: We, at Odd, believe it is more difficult to be funny and g-rated than resort to cheap shots and risqué humor.

SS: That must be your formula for success.

Ub: Yes my Asst. Managers and I devote our spare time from our busy day jobs to ensure that Odd People keeps running smoothly. (Yawn!)

SS: Well I have to commend you on a job well done. Do you think that your assistants would consider sitting down for an interview?

Ub: Ask them! I know for sure Bubbles likes to chat. And boy can she talk!

SS: I will have to sound them out about this. Well our time has come to an end. Thank you for a most pleasant interview.

Ub: My pleasure. Anytime.

(Official transcript available from FBC news for a nominal fee of $39.95 plus a kilo of catnip)