Just be kind, folks.  Just be kind.  I live in the Toilet Paper Capital of the World--and I am definitely not kidding.  Remember, your mirth  may be our bread and butter.  Or at least that of those around us.  To properly evaluate the seriousness of this, just consider a world without it  You could do without peaches if you had to--or take a rain check on the picnic.  But TP--well....................

 

Annie

Peaches????  Peaches??????  Can't live without peaches!  Well, I guess I could as long as there are still nectarines.

 

With as cyclic as the paper industry is, it is the toilet paper products that keep them solvent.  Or at least as solvent as it is for any industry to be these days.

 

Annie, surely you must have TP jokes  to share with us.  Surely.

Juds, I have thought and thought, and I really can't come up with one single TP joke.  Not one.  It's not that I don't think that living in a community that claims fame in that area isn't funny.  We are, however known for other stuff.  Ahem.  Drum roll: among other things,  meat packing, pizza crust, and lately, football melodrama.  Toilet paper is just such a good part of great stories.  You know--the need for, the lack thereof, the different national interpretations of, the odd and creative uses for, the dragging of from the heel of ones shoe.  Ellen DeGeneres does a particularly funny bit about attempting to get one of those giant new rolls (frequently found in truck stop rest rooms) started without breaking your knuckles, getting your fist caught in the dispenser, or using very bad language.  But I will keep thinking, while I'm also on a roll.

 

Total change of subject:  It is really excellent to see all the new names coming in as members.  It isn't great that you have had to find the rest of us, but this is still the best--and only--place for SOMers to talk with eachother and share knowledge and information.  So, group welcome, group hug!

 

Annie 

Ok, I'm a bit late....(I actually had a couple of dates, and yes with the same guy)  however....my dad always used Charmin tp.  He refused to use anything else because it was all John Wayne Toilet Paper...rough and tough and don't take (insert word here) off nobody!  Ok, sorry, couldn't help myself.   

Kel, that's the punch line of the only other TP joke that I've been able to find that wasn't chock-full of words that we can't use here.

 

Alright, after this, I promise, I'm finished.  You can flush me if I relapse.

 

What's dumb?
Directions on toilet paper.
What's dumber than that?
Reading them.
Even Dumber?
Reading them and learning something.
Dumbest of all?
Reading them and having to correct something that you've been doing wrong.

"I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer you get to the end, the faster it goes!" -- Andy Rooney

40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.  Huh, and we thought that fluorescent bulbs were dangerous.

Ooooooooo, dates.  Do tell more.