Ok, I have been absent for a couple of weeks.  First of all, I was really terribly sick.  But that is not what I come here today with.  While I was sick, I got a call from my best friend (whom I have known since we were 12).  It was almost unintelligable, and the only words I could make out were "hung himself".  As sick as I was, I hung up the phone and drove.....She was at her son's house, had stopped by to see him, and found him dead in his closet.  (He was 22)  A mother's worst fear, and I cannot imagine what that must have been like.  We had just been to see him together 2 days before.   I had spanked this boy, changed his diapers, joked with him, told him off, as if he were my own, but he was not my own. He was a very outgoing young man, and made friends wherever he went.  As much trouble as he gave his mother, he also gave her great joy and he was her baby.  I spent that weekend helping my best friend bury her baby boy.  I grieve for my friend, I cry for her, my heart aches for her.  And for the first time in my life, I am at a loss for what to do for her.