The Making of Relations Ceremony

Loneliness is one of the worst feelings we can experience, and, unfortunately, a common theme of modern times. Native Americans use the Making of Relations Ceremony to overcome alienation, and to create a sense of community and continuity among people. Ben First Eagle, a Watatome and Choctaw Indian from the Black Hills of South Dakota explains how and why the ceremony is performed: "This is a ritual that we have for making a new relation. To Native Americans, the worst thing that you can call a person is an orphan. It means that the person is disconnected, that they have no relations, that they have no blood line. These things happened in the past. The mother and father would be killed or disease would take them. And they happen today.

"In this ceremony, another family or group takes in a young person who has been left alone. Or it can be a middle-aged person or someone older. Age doesn’t matter. Anyone who loses their relatives can partake in this ritual. Another family will say, ‘This one is pitiful. We need to help. So, let’s make this one our aunt, our brother, our sister, nephew, niece, grandson, or granddaughter.�?The Making of Relations Ceremony insures that no one is an orphan, no one is alone.

"In this ritual, we use the pipe, we use blankets, and, these days, we use a chair. They used to just sit people on sage and cover them with the blanket. Songs are sung. An eagle feather is tied in the person’s hair, complete with a medicine wheel, that could be made of rawhide and painted, or made of porcupine quills. That’s done to symbolize their connection to the four directions, and to the hoop of life. Hair represents the person’s life because it grows. It contains a person’s wisdom, and it contains their connection to the past."

Ben First Eagle says the Making of Relations Ceremony insures that no one is left to feel alone in the universe, and that this is vital as we are social beings who depend upon each other. "A person is taken in as a relative. That relative system is as strong as blood. It must be, because the welfare of the group can sometimes hinge upon one individual. And if that person is feeling disconnected, he or she may fail you."

Due to the rising numbers of death due to alcoholism among Native Americans, the Making of Relations ritual is being conducted more and more today.