Seeing the Bigger Picture
As a single mom and aspiring actress, I've learned that things happen for a reason--and it's never too late to pursue a dream.
By Heidi Cole
I grew up in a single-parent family. My mother raised my two younger sisters and me, without the benefit of a dad around, since she had divorced my father when I was six.
I was a bright student growing up, but between the time I was sixteen and almost nineteen, I drifted away from learning, from the friends I used to hang around with and from everything I loved to do, including acting. I started hanging around a group of kids my mother didn't approve of and, I hate to admit it, she was right. A lot of them were trouble.
One unusually calm day in my otherwise chaotic household, I sat alone in the family room waiting to hear the sound of the mail being dropped into our mailbox. I was nineteen and had finally decided to turn my life around. I was desperately awaiting the response to my application to the American Academy of Dramatic Arts. Yet as I sat there, something felt off balance. Something was definitely about to change - I sensed it; I just wasn't sure what it was. Without a doubt, I knew I wanted to attend this school to study acting, but if someone had asked me then, I doubt that I could have defined my reasons clearly.
Laced with a divine message, the letter did come that day. I grasped it in both hands and sat down. As I silently pep-talked myself into opening it, I saw the dreams that had been brewing inside me since childhood flash before my eyes. I carefully opened the envelope and stared coldly at the "Thank you, please try again" that screamed at me from the page. A single tear trickled down my left cheek. And as that tear reached my chin, I placed my hand gently over my stomach and finally admitted to myself what was changing . . . what was now brewing inside me.
I got up and drove myself to a clinic for a pregnancy test. It was positive. I was going to have a baby. Right after graduating high school, at age nineteen, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy and became a single mother. My life was dramatically altered - forever.
Seven years later - seven very tough years later - I sat outside one evening after putting my son to bed. As I admired the sparkling stars that filled the sky, various thoughts ran through my mind, thoughts of all the joys and challenges I had experienced since having my son. But most of all, I thought of all the dreams I had yet to fulfill that sat idle in the back of my mind. The further and further I pushed my dreams aside, the more I began to believe that what I once wanted so badly was no longer possible. Then, as I lifted my head back up to that darkened but glittery sky, I saw something I had never seen before: a shooting star. It amazed me. And for some reason, that shooting star caused me to ponder my inherent love of acting and my failed attempt at attending the American Academy of Dramatic Arts.
I spent the next few days in a glowing state of realization, believing I still had a chance no matter what my circumstances had become. There could be a second chance for me. My life had shifted focus for a while, but I never completely lost sight of my dreams or my purpose.
As a single mother who knows the reality of a utility bill staring her in the face, it would be very easy for me to choose to settle into a decent job with good pay and benefits, even if it meant I would have to answer phones or do paperwork for the rest of my life. Instead, I'm giving my dream another shot. Yesterday, I applied to the Academy once again, at the age of twenty-six.
When I was nineteen, I couldn't see the bigger picture. The bigger picture turned out to include an active little boy who stopped me in my tracks - for good reason. I just wasn't ready to pursue my dream then. Now, I am.
It has been said you can only be as good an actor as you are a person. The seven years I've spent as a single mother have taught me to be resilient, to face life realistically and to forge ahead, no matter what.
So, once again, I await the sound of the mail being dropped in the mailbox, and know that my dreams are within my reach.
From "Daily Inspirations"
Free Forum Hosting
Important Announcement
First 
