THE FUNNY THINGS KIDS SAY
This Christmas Stephanie, 3, was finally brave enough to sit on
Santa's lap. When he asked her what she wanted for Christmas she quickly
replied, "A racing car and two hands." Santa was confused and inquired,
"Two hands?" "Yes," Stephanie replied, "so that when Mommy is busy she
can't say, 'Not now, I only have two hands.' If you give her two more she
can play with me and do the dishes." -- Maureen (mother of Stephanie) of
Stillwater, New Jersey
Deb fondly remembers when her son Casey was 3 (he is 17 now) and
learned about body parts at his grandmother's house. When his grandmother
asked him, "Where are Grandma's calves?" he looked at her and said, "Well,
they are in the barn, Grandma." The next morning he ran to his mother's
bed and pulled up his pajama leg, patted his calves and said, "Mama, Mama,
see my cows!" -- Deb McFall of Fremont, Indiana
Deb also remembers when her son Michael was 3 (he is 19 now) and they
were all together with family members on Christmas Eve. Deb had just
started dating Harold, her current husband, and he wanted to dress up as
Santa for the boys. Michael looked out the window and saw Santa coming.
Then Santa entered and there was a flurry of excitement... but Michael
headed for the stairs. "Michael, where are you going?" Deb asked. Michael
replied, "Santa is here and I haven't gone to bed yet!" He was headed for
his bedroom!
Expecting cold weather, Grandpa bought Kaylon, 3, a pair of earmuffs.
She had never seen earmuffs before. She put them over her head, covering
her ears and waited for a minute. Then she said to Grandpa, "But I can't
hear the music!" -- Carol (grandmother of Kaylon) of San Antonio, Texas
My sister-in-law Sarah, a teacher, had to work on Jan. 2 but her
husband had the day off so John, 2, stayed with him. When Sarah got home
John said, "Momma, catch" and tossed her a football. When she caught it,
he said, "First down!" Sarah knows what Gary and John did all day. --
Sarah Housholder of Avilla, Indiana
Sue, mother of Cindy and Christina, had to run over to the town
clerk's office to renew their dog Shadow's town dog registration license.
Sue told Christina, "Come on, we have to go over to the town hall to renew
Shadow's license." Christina, 4, said with a look of amazement, "Dogs can
drive?" -- Karen Klein (aunt of Cindy and Christina) of Kenmore, New York
Abbey, 6, is getting to the age where she is asking questions about
Santa. One question this Christmas was, "Why don't we get everything on
our lists at Christmas time?" Her mother Lynn explained that Santa has his
list in alphabetical order and because their last name is Walkup sometimes
Santa runs out of the most popular toys before he gets to the "W's."
Without missing a beat Abbey responded, "Maybe he should go by FIRST names
next year!" -- Lynn Walkup of Garrett, Indiana
Family members were celebrating the New Year in the swimming pool.
When Helene's uncle lost his balance and fell into the pool, Bernard, 6,
asked what had happened. They explained to him that Helene's uncle had
lost his balance. Bernard walked over to his mother and asked, "Mom, what
is a balance?" -- Aunt of Bernard, Helene Blom of Cape Town, South Africa
Pnina, 2, was watching her father paint. A bit of paint dripped on
the floor and Pnina asked him, "Are you getting in trouble?" Pnina told
her older brother Gabi, 15, "I sleeped on your shoulder last-day." --
Brandel (mother of Pnina) of Jerusalem, Israel
As Aunt Sandy was observing Dana's two pet fish, Dana shared his
wisdom about fish. "Yeah," Dana said, "that blue fish there is a beta
fish, and the other one that swims around at the bottom of the tank, he's
an allergy eater!" He meant algae eater. -- Lori Hasenpflug of Omaha,
Nebraska
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