zinmalkal........Genetic or something happends during embryonic development.  This morning my husband and I mused about when we brought D-2 home from the hospital.  (D) was two years old, threw such a fit, and said to take her back.  We worked hard trying to change that attitude, but never really succeeded.  (D) was frequently nasty to the younger one, and this continued all through HS. They even lived together while the younger one was in college.  (D) made some bad choices regarding boyfriends and partners, but after she married, she seemed to calm down, except for squabbles with her inlaws.

 

I have looked for explanations.  My parents were abusive to me/my sibs, never fair to the grandchildren, because they really only liked (D), the oldest  out of the six.  That just astounded me when (D) bailed out on the grandmother that doted on her.  My sibs and I survived our childhoods, got college degrees, and remained to take care of the parents.  I read that N children fail to make appropriate child-parent relationships and connections in the early years.  Our early years together were stressful as while dealing with new babies, we also had an alcoholic F;/IN to contend with.  I went back to work when D2 was 3 months old with MD recommendation.  The girls went to a babysitter and I went to work during the day. 

 

Yet, after a certain point in our relationship I walked and talked with care around (D).  And, I did this to avoid confrontations.  Forty-two years later I can't have an honest conversation with her without watching everyword I say.  Well, now we aren't even talking.  She is so bold with her demands on what we need to do in order to have her in our lives.  Thanks again for listening.