Hi Rand -
The final crds in your reading will answer some of the personal questions you started with, but it should (hopefully) also show you where you are headed. The Shamans believe that Life is a Process, and while you may not agree, this reading will show you where the 'signs'(at least the ones I can find) suggest Life is pointing you.
THE CARD BELOW the question.
This is the Nine of Cups and represents the subliminal or subconscious forces at work in your life at this time. Being subliminal, these are things you would not necessarily be consciously aware of. The Nine of Cups is a card that suggests real changes are beginning' this is the start of a really constructive phase in your evolution.
Specifically, this card suggests you are a person who has, in the past, been dominated too much by your senses, but this is now decreasing. This change will allow you to increase your intuitive bonds to a higher wisdom. The books on shamanism refer to the higher wisdom as coming to an individual in trances and in dreams, but in fact Wisdom is a process which slowly unfolds within each of us.
Using some old Cabalistic techniques, I am able to tie each card in your reading to your natal chart. This card represents a decanate of Pisces which ties to Neptune and the Moon. Your chart definitely shows the psychic and spiritual powers for this kind of growth. Your chart also shows problems, specifically designed (if you work on them) to clear out old Karma.
THE CARD BEHIND (the influence passing away).
This is the MAGICIAN KEY, a major arcane, and it represents the highest powers of your mind. Your recent sorrows have (finally) gotten your full Attention, and you now see certain 'patterns' in your life and in your problems. The fact you asked for this reading shows a big step forward. No answers can come from me, but it is really an enormous step forward that you are now looking for answers
Your Mercury, your mind, is powerfully placed in your first house, and its aspects to Saturn and to Jupiter are both easy and challenging. This means you have the tools to accelerate your own evolution, but you will probably make a large number of mistakes along the way,. And each mistake is a lesson which can only help you to grow.
THE CARD OF THE FUTURE
This is the six of Cups and shows a young boy giving flowers to an even younger girl. Obviously, the card ties directly into some portions of your questions to me. This issue is (obviously) playing an important role in your immediate future, so I will (in a few days) do a chart comparison for you and your new friend. But, in the meantime, why don't we examine some important points, for which you already have the answers?
First, a relationship is not based on a decision you make; a relationship - as the word implies, is something that unfolds and in time. And in time, you will know the truths at the roots of your new relationship.
Secondly, as you no doubt know, it takes at least two years to get over a divorice or a death in the family. So, it shows poor judgment to ask, at this itme, if this new relationship will replace the old one.
Thirdly, you do not want to give this question to me. It is yours to answer.
There is, however, a rather profound Truth which lies behind this card. The number six ties it directly to Tiphareth on the Tree of Life, which probably means nothing to you, so I will explain in terms of the Shaman's model of the Cosmos:
The vertical Tree at the cener of this diagram is what a Shaman uses to travel between the three worlds. But, he ENTERS this tree through the 'Hole'. And, Tiphereth (number six) on the Tree of Life IS that Hole.
When you enter here, you enter a higher consciousness . This is the heart center of the Cosmos. You will still feel that you are separate, but you will (I assume) understand that you, like the Shamans, are learning to 'acquiesce to infinity' (Castaneda's exact words).
You are beginning a process, and one that will change you forever.
The last four cards merely expand this one card of the future.
1) The Environment. Key 8, a Major Arcana, and Strength. This clearly fortifies what I have said thus far. You will be discovering the Powers of the Universe that are yours to use. I would guess that this process unfold for you over a period of 8 years.
2) Your Response. Five of Wands. A group of guys using wands to beat out each others brains. This ties to your Mars which is trine Saturn (as I have mentioned a few times). And since you obviously enjoy emptying coffee shops, you will forget and waste your energy at times in arguments and clashes. BUT - if you wake up and come back to the Shaman's path, then it was merely a lesson, and a good one.
3) Your Hopes. Ten of Pentacles. You want it all, JOY, rewards, and -as manifested responses. So, you must still learn to trust to Life as you go along. (ps. Life still knows better than you what is best at a given time).
4) The Card of the Future .... And (interestingly) TWO CARDS WERE STUCK TOGETHER, so I have to read them as ONE. The first is the 9 of Wands, which shows you battered and bandaged, but your energy (wands) provide a fort to protect you. You seem to need to feel that 'something out there is out to get you!' You will probably get over that feeling.
The second card is the LOVERS .... (illustrated below) and speaks for itself. This card also represents the sign of Gemini, which holds your Moon. So, in short, I would recommend (for what it is worth) that you begin to make serious attempts to contact your ayami.
Good luck
Shantana
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