From The New Mikado --
Sung by Cou-Cou and Chorus
As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
I've got a little list--I've got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground,
And who never would be missed--who never would be missed!
There's the pestilential nuisances who always send us spam--
All people who dine with cell phones and manners like hams--
All relatives who email us with messages to save our souls--
Or have us acting prudently, and avoid Hell's eternal coals--
And all telemarketers who on spoiling dinners insist--
They'd none of 'em be missed--they'd none of 'em be missed!
CHORUS.
She's got 'em on the list--she's got 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed--they'll none of 'em be miss'd!
There's the auto horn serenader, and the others of his race,
And the boom box player--I've got him on the list!
And the people who eat garlic and puff it in your face,
They never would be miss'd--they never would be miss'd!
Then the idiot who censures, with enthusiastic tone,
Any form of technological innovation, and every idea but his own;
And the corporate executive, who dresses like a guy,
And who "knows the books are faulty, but would rather like to try";
And that singular anomaly, the Massachuetts senator--
I don't think he'd be missed--I'm sure he'd not be missed!
CHORUS.
She's got him on the list--she's got him on the list;
And she don't think he'll be missed--she's sure he won't be miss'd!
And that Verdammt nuisance, who just now is rather rife,
The late night comedian--I've got him on the list!
All politicians, televangelists, and clowns of private life--
They'd none of 'em be missed--they'd none of 'em be missed.
And obnoxious running-dog journalists of an uncompromising kind,
Such as from the Times or Post or Eyewitness News, and, oh, never-mind,
Those art and music and movie critics, and also You-know-who--
The task of filling up the blanks I'd rather leave to you.
But it really doesn't matter whom you put upon the list,
For they'd none of 'em be missed--they'd none of 'em be missed!
CHORUS.
You may put 'em on the list--you may put 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed--they'll none of 'em be missed!
[It's a good thing that W.S. Gilbert and Arthur Sullivan aren't around any longer, or my butt would be sued!]
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