I used to live in an abusive marriage and I remember how fear used to rule my life. From the very first putdown, fear started to grow. I would think:  "maybe I shouldn't say or do that, he'll think I'm dumb."  Feelings would get stuffed and fear would grow. Of course when you're told everyday that you're stupid and can't do anything right, after a while you start to believe it, even though it's not true. And fear would grow a little more. Then one day he goes to the bar after work and when he comes home feeling guilty he starts to blame me. "What did you do all day? Were you out with my friends?" ( never mind the kids are clean, they're wearing clean clothes, house is clean and supper is cooked) So he picks a fight to intimidate me. And fear grows more.One day in anger I said I was leaving. His answer? " No one else will want you". Then the physical abuse. By now fear was out of control and running me.Crazy irrational fear - I can't be late getting home - what will he do? or I can't spend this much money on groceries - what will he say? or if I talk back he might hit me.And this is right where the abuser wanted me, keeping me in fear so he could control me. Until I finally sought the help I needed. I finally realized he wouldn't stop until I was dead. Turning to faith, the fear lessened and I was able to get help. My Creator was there all along, all I had to do was ask Him for help, and He gave me the strength needed to take the steps to help myself and my children. The fear kept me from realizing that normal people don't live that way. Fear is not my friend and I choose to feed my faith instead.  It doesn't matter who the abuser is - a boyfriend, or husband, or a parent, or other relative, abuse is wrong. To anyone being abused, there is help, there is hope, and you are not alone. Love, peace and many hugs, Cheri