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Since the first post is the one you always see year round, come rain or shine, I thought to make this one a reminder:
There is no matter to the quantity of what you create but the quality of what you create.
The desire to inspire others is a true source of your own inspiration.
To be a true healer you need to first heal yourself.
Speak honestly from the heart more frequently.
Believe that all things are possible.
And most of all, give lots of hugs!
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| Since Im now homeschooling my kids, I find we have much more meaningful conversations together. Ive read a book called "the homeschooling options". It really opened my eyes. And has answered many of my "issues". More along the lines of confirming my desires on "how" I choose to teach my kids. I love the idea of learning right along with my kids. Doing unit studies. And child guided learning. This means, I encourage my children to study the things they have a passion for, and provide them the needed supplies in which to do so. Along with the basics of course. My daughter and I had a conversation about the student/teacher relationship. She proudly claimed that she too was my teacher and had many things she was gonna teach me too. I told her that was great, I look forward to learning with her. This conversation has prompted me to look deeper at what it is I want to learn. Ive decided to fully delve into Astrology, which has always been a passion of mine since I read Linda Goodman Sun signs book when I was 13. Actually it goes further than that, when I first learned of chinese astrology when I was 11. Ive dabbled here and there. Recently though, Birdy has pushed me through compliments to study further. Hah!! Now everyone knows the secret to Nesting. Tell her she is awesome at math, awesome at understanding and well it pushes me to try harder! (Builds my confidence) Shes right though, I not once thought I was good at math. Ive always struggled with it. But then when your in high school calculus who can say your a dummy at math? Only me. Im also at 3rd year college level in my english too. Chemistry, well I really loved them Carbons! I bring this up cause Ive always felt stupid. All because I couldnt keep up with my class. Always at least a couple weeks behind and just when I would really begin to catch on and enjoy what we just learned, the class has already moved on. What a bummer, constant struggle. No fun. And now that Im acknowledging that yes I am smart enough to teach my kids, smart enough to teach myself, well, just plain smart, I feel much better. And now I realize just how unhappy Ive been not learning a thing. My brain has been starving! Feed me knowledge. I am now officially accepting that Im like my mother. We are both Life Long Learners. She always has a book in one hand and a pen in the other. Just like me. |
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hi hunnie just taking a moment out of a busy day to read and catch up with your journal,boy have you been a busy bee im glad you are now settled to teach your children yourself and that you have also learned that you are more than just one person sometimes its good just to let rip,today would have been my sisters 46th birthday so as you might have expected im not really up to being bright and breezy,i am going on holiday next week to a place called blackpool jade and i are going together i feel the need to be away from all the problems we are still dealing with to do with my sisters death, i was again at her home on monday sorting more money probs out, my b/in law is useless with the finances, but he is gonna have to learn im afraid,maybe when i get back my batteries will be recharged and life may just get back to a more even keel,you are the only person i share these things with and i know others read your journal but i feel i have met a friend in you,you may be far away but i feel very drawn to you as a friend and i love reading about your life and family,so with that ill close i hope this finds you and yours in good health till i write again many blessings  lavender  |
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I thank you Lavender for choosing me to be your confidant. I take great honour in the position. Although, I had not realized this until your confession. I also find myself already having conversations with you before I write in here just so I get everything that Id like to say written. Its comfortable to "think" this way. Im glad you have chosen to "be just the way you are" when you write to me in here. Saves me so much time and confusion if Im picking up something else from ya. Really lol, thanks! I find I am having alot of supportive people around me helping me understand my psychic abilities. I especially appreciate the honesty. Sometimes, I really feel a great urge to help you. Possibly connect for you and your sis, but I get a great big NO, she can do it herself....or perhaps you are doing just fine on your own "hearing" her. So with that knowledge, I can understand the "sister" bond. Which is strong. Not even death can break it. And that is comforting to me to know. I see through you that my sister and I will connect again. We just need a some time to heal ourselves. This removes the issues I have with her. Again, through you, this healing grew. Cause I knew that I didnt want to not feel that connection regardless of human body, spirit, etc. I am trusting that this bond will never break, we will forever be forged from the same energy. Lalalalala sisters!!!! We shall conquer the world together! And this is what I envision every time a negative thought comes to me concerning my sister. That this too shall pass.
With much love
Nesting |
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hi hunnie well im home after a week of sunshine and fresh air and no one to worry about but me and my gal (daughter jade) it was lovely through the day but i was glad i took my fur hat as my ears nearly froze off the first night out there,jade was so good and pushed me in my wheel chair into town every day last year i could walk it, this year i couldnt sure sign im getting worse,but enough of that im sure you and your sister will work things out it may take time but it will happen, it may take a big bust up first then things will settle down you see,i dont have great insight just years of being a sister,you are right about being able to get in touch with isobel she is often around specially when im helping get her husband sorted out which i hope has now happened as i was there again on fri 3rd putting the rest of the package in place, i will still be there for him as he isnt going to cope by himself and i really dont want his eldest daughter to have to take her mums place im sure isobel knows this,her eldest daughter will be 21 on fri the 10th and my son will be 40 on the saturday then i have( all on the same day) granddaughter, sister in law, and brother and sister in laws anniversary on the 14th ,well no rest for the wicked as my mum would have said and i must be very wicked  ,i hope this finds you well as im not to bad could do with new knees and hips and back think thats all or maybe i should just start again from the beginning lol,my lodger has man flu in other words he has a bad cold, ladies have a cold men have the flu poor thing gets no sympathy from me im a hard woman (with a soft centre)hope this finds you all well and life not to bad for you take care till next time. many blessings lavender ps, sorry its been a while take care lavender (ann) |
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I wrote in my personal journal the other day that I wanted to walk with dignity into old age, not run full tilt into it, then get stopped cold with pains. Ive seen so many do just this. Im hoping to have learned from them and just walk into it instead, maybe then I would still have the endurance and stamina to still keep doing what I love doing. Im always on the run. So this wisdom helps me slow down a bit. Learn to take my time. These are my lessons currently.
Ive have some wonderful dreams lately. First one, (which wasnt really wonderful, just interesting) Im strung up, part of this ritual, and my guides are all around me, making noise, doing ritual stuff, Im more interested in hearing them speak, they say I have impurities and Im being cleansed.
Next night, I have a dream where they repeat over and over again that I am now balanced again. (thank god, cause I was working hard relaxing! No easy job for an active gemini) Last night I awoke from a dream where my hubby and I were busy making love soup! LOL. Oh my what a hoot! Love soup! A rock for stability, a ladder for growth, on and on we put our heads together and then off we went both knowing what we needed to find, then one would find it and we would both say hah at the same time and put it in the bowl. We had fun finding the ingredients for our love soup.
The classes at the library didnt work out. Meaning didnt get scheduled as I had hoped. Im ok with it now. Took about a week to figure out how I was gonna take care of it. Somehow, the Artist market on Nov 8th took its place. Now Im putting most of my attention on that show alone. I am intent that I not bring just my angels, but I come with a couple of my unique designs, some that I will sell, some that are in private collections for display only. Im pretty much thinking "Larger" with most my stuff. So far, its working cause I have yet to feel burnout, and I seem to have plenty of energy and inspiration to keep me going. All good signs Im following the yellow brick road! |
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Lavender, after I left the posting and went home, I realized I didnt even respond to your posting. Im glad you had a good time out and about. And what a blessing it is to have a daughter who helps you out in so many ways. Oddly I not once picked up on the wheel chair and you. Ive always seen you as young, blond and with lots of spunk.
Ive finished the mermaid mobile. Shes turquoise and orange! for some reason those colors and brown and purple I love seeing together as much as I love polka dots! So Im putting in a prediction, next years colors with be dark brown and purple and then turquoise and orange. I always seem to be a year ahead with things like this. Ive learned after many many years to listen to this as Hey look, polka dots are a hit now.
Your busy month ahead is alot like our Julys. We have both kids birthdays, the 4th and 12th. Then on the 21st is our anniversary. Come august I dont want to do a thing.
Im getting much better with my psychic abilities, mostly with small things. Like I see the cup on the counter in a million pieces on the floor, I dont listen and wham, on the floor in a million pieces. Ive learned Id rather not have the proof and my favorite cup still in one piece. And Ive finally admitted to my hubby about the little daughter we are gonna have in 2012-13, somewhere around there. I think universe took pity on me and let my daughter give me the years so that I didnt get all impatient. Which Ive been known to do for something I know is coming. With my first born, 5 years of stressing and wanting and desiring. Eventually he came. So with that knowledge finally no longer a pressure for me I can look toward the future and relax. Knowing that she will be here and now is the time to do what I need to do.
Well, time to go, Im inspired to create a bird. A big one to hang in a window. Like a suncatcher. Will keep you posted on my new projects and how they are going. Hopefully one day I will have an internet site with my work so everyone can see what I do.
Sending angels,
Nesting(tanya :) |
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hi hunnie well you have been busy,you couldnt be more off with my description im 61 with very short mousey coloured hair and shall we say not slim my dad used to say we were nature,s blonds as we lean to the real right of mousey, jade is the only one of us to inherit my mums lovely chestnut with red high lights hair she is tall about 5'7" and slim pushing me about keeps her that way she also has a very physical job even tho she works at toys r us and her hair is very long,im also only just over 5 ft tall the shortest of the whole family, well you wernt far wrong with spunky tho, i have my moments i make a real good friend but you dont want me for an enemy,as the lodger has just found out as i threw him out last thurs he just pushed all the wrong buttons and i told him to go fourth,im so glad you are gonna get your little girl and tho you have to wait the time will pass in a flash you see,funny how you picked up on the colours that are also a favorite of mine purple and turquoise especially, but mum used to say i have the fair complextion to wear any colour they are 2 of the ones i go for, to be honest i love orange too brown not so much,ok ive rambled long enough so i hope this finds you well and your family to talk to you soon. many blessings lavender(ann) ps writing this at 7.05 am as pain got me up also jade bought me a lap top yesterday so she will be able to game on this and ill be able to use the lappie its called anns lap cat lol blessings |
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LOL, Lavender, Who knows why I see what I see. Either way, your beautiful. Your energy anyway. Ive been fighting a chest cold this past week, trying to relax, but then I see the dirty dishes, and garbage threatning to overflow, laundry piling up, etc. And I think, something has got to change. So I start changing things with my kids. Now Im giving them more chores and having them help me cook. Things like that. Its helping. Now we are preparing for a Halloween party. I decided this year I would put on the party for the kids. Olivia, my girl, wants to be a kitty this year. I am gonna be a hero. I have this camoflauge dress Im gonna use with this beaded corset thingy I found at the local thrift store. Im gonna use my swords to protect the little ones from all those mean monsters! Hiya! I thought to put on a mock fight between me the hero and a mean monster. Really get the kids into it. Then we were gonna have a scavenger hunt and get the family around here into it, and we can walk down the lane, from house to house, and somewheres, in the middle, the mock fight. Then after scavenger hunt, on to my house for the bon fire and hot chocolate and hot apple cider. We live so far out of town, that trick or treating is unfeasible. My son just informed me he was gonna be a ninja. (thank god, cause I was worried he would want to be a clone trooper and that is a difficult thing to pull off.) Last year he was Darth Vader. Im thinking it would be perfect if my hubby was the big mean monster. And maybe I can put some of my passion into the fight and kick his butt! At least an excuse for it? LOL. Im already practicing my famous hero call. I hope the kids like it as much as I think I will. nesting |
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| | | Sent: 21/10/2008 4:54 p.m. |
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Some weird happenings are going on for me. Maybe not sooo weird, but interesting. I had given up the idea of doing classes when things didnt pan out for it. Putting most my energy into the art show in Nov. Then as I went to library during our weekly outing, she was there with her schedule book and said so which days do you want? I looked her in the eye, just to see what had changed and I knew I was right that she had been aweful busy and her eyes said sorry, at least we are getting to it now kinda look. So now I have a wire art class for beginners. Then on same day, someone asked to order 12 of my little angels, what kind of deal can I give her. I sat in a daze for two days trying to get acclimated to what had just happened. I was currently in the midst of rethinking the whole business thing. Was I really wanting to put my energy into it. Was it worthwhile? How was it gonna get me what I really want? Etc.
See Ive come out of my recent sickness(which Im still in the middle of) finding my dreams coming full circle for me. The thought to donate fuzzy socks and underwear to kids who need them. I thought it crazy, and rational. Made sense to me. Anyway, somehow the thought to make inspirational quilts, the idea that started it all, came to mind. And now Im building a charity. How that happened is an amazement to me. Now Im getting word out that I need help making these quilts. I asked universe, Ok, I will do it. I will get the quilts made, get the funding for the socks and underwear (I still dont see how the underwear fits in but trust the kids need them) Ive decided that some of the profit from the sales of my artwork will go to getting this charity up and running. Im glad I worked a bookkeeper before as this knowledge comes in handy for something like this. And I also have to research how to start a charity, laws concerning it, and all the nittygritty details I would have to keep up with it. So here it is, Apple Angel Charity, for kids who need them. First place Im giving them to is a local childrens hospital, (hopefully) if not then onto plan B, ask the local sheriffs department if they would be willing to have them on hand for situations, like a fire or accident, and give them to a kid. I have plans through the whole alphabet if I need them. I pray that both happen. I also make these apple angel dolls that I usually make for christmas ornaments and thought that I could make those specifically for the funding. The whole proceeds of those going to getting needed supplies. I dont expect a single helper to put out for any of the supplies if they dont have to. Im being told I dont really have to worry about that, but its my nature to think things through. Make sure my bases are covered. I hesitate to get too excited as I know what Im in for. And I respect that. Its gonna take alot of patience.
Also, to whomever reads this, I should ask for prayers. Ive been losing alot of weight, something that many are constantly saying to me, and now Im seeing it too, (Im not worried, just worried about the people worrying about me, I think its giving them more stress than it is to me. ) And Ive had this chest cold thing for 3 weeks now, and honestly Im really wanting to know what its like to have energy again. Im not complaining, much good is coming out of this, as when Im sick, my ego leaves.
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hi hunnie your loss of weight could be all to do with your chest infection i have a friend who is on her 3rd lot of tablets and also steroids,but if this has been going on for a while then you need to get it sorted out, it may be nothing but then again it may be something so do me a big favour and go see a doctor, remember its only 3 month,s since i lost my sister, and i will send prayers for you but please do something dont just leave it ok, remember friends are the angels that hold us up when our legs dont work so good (that goes for brains to)take care i will be keeping a big eye on you, blessings and prayers  lavender |
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Thank you for your concern lavender. I think I figured out the cause. STRESS. I decided that I wouldnt do the fall show I had intended to do. Then the Halloween party is done, and then of course I was facing Jury duty. I think with all I had on my plate I was crashing. Now though, with it all done and gone I feel much better. And Im on my first day of quitting smoking. This time with the help of the patch. So far so good. I learned from this to never, ever, let myself get to a point of sickness just cause I "think" I "ought" to do something. Sometimes I make myself stay in situations not good for me or I dont cancel something just cause I worry what others will think. A bad habit of mine.
I have to admit, the whole jury thing freaked me out. I just couldnt do it. Sit there and make a decision that affected a persons life innocent or not. I tried to get out of it, in fact may have put the foot in the mouth a few times, then of course I feared I couldnt leave the room to go potty unless there was a break, then finally I got up, desperate and cried out I have to go! The whole room grew silent, the judge, says why, I said no, I have to go to the bathroom. The whole room laughed! My god, I wanted to dig a hole and lay in it. Yet when I came back, maybe from relief of peeing, the energy of the room was much more relaxed. Your welcome, I did my job being the comic relief. And am telling myself now, I broke the tension and things went smoothly from there. I managed to talk myself out of jury duty that day and all further jury summons. Yay!!!! All because, I asked the judge if he meant "morality vs law", geez they asked the same questions over and over again. And he said yes, thats precisely what he was asking. I said, Id choose morality over law every time. Not only that but I learned court is boring. So boring in fact it seemed they were doing nothing. Its a brain game, not an action game. Thats for sure.
I remembered most my dreams last night, especially this one. I was wondering from dream to dream, looking for a place to pee. Nothing sufficed. Finally I ended up going down this corridor looking for a restroom, and found myself in a hospital room, with children. When I realized I was in a childrens hospital, a nurse asked me if she could help me and I asked her what the place was, just in case I was wrong, she told me and then asked me if I was shocked it was. I said well, yes and no. That I was not surprised I was there. And in fact I want to donate inspirational quilts and fuzzy socks to the hospital and she smiled at me and said that would be all right. Wierd thing is, in the previous dream, I was in a tub, then looked over and saw this cute black girl, with this curly hair in pony tails, she was laying face down in the water, I pulled her up and realized she was sleeping and told her father so. That she mustve fell asleep in the water, then while in other dream, she was in a hospital bed, and I was quite surprised to see her there. Knowing and remembering the previous dream. She still stands out to me and cannot forget her face. |
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There has been so much growth for me this past month. And I sense it is still in the air. Back in the middle of November it all began with a womens getaway trip with 10 other women friends. Crazy me thought it was a trip to pamper when in fact it was a trip to gossip. Yay!! What fun. Next time, I go alone to pamper. Some good did come of it though. Birdy and I got a chance to check out the areas Art center and check some stores out. In fact I was working it, hoping I could find places outside my local area to put my work, maybe do classes. I have yet to go back. Its a trip that has to wait.
Then in the same week we get back, four days later we get a call from brother in law crying, saying mother in law is dead. Ive never heard that man cry, and then to hear grandma near break down too...was too much for me. I was then faced with fears and issues from the past. Could I be supportive through this one? Then selfish issues...people issues....somehow through it all, my husband and I have connected in a way that I had been dreaming about. Getting past intimacy issues, trust issues and learning to lean on each other. That do to so isnt weakness. And respecting each others different way of seeing things.
My kids are back in school. Put my son back in 3 weeks ago and my daughter is to go back tomorrow. She was so proud to get 5 immunizations and not even cry. So proud she insists I let everyone know just how well she did. Not even a tear. Hah my viking child. Stubborn and head strong. Now that the homeschooling thing is out of my system I can now let it go and not ever think of it again. All of the decisions I made were for the good. I couldve easily spent the next couple years wasting tons of good energy on something that didnt need it. I learned respect for the teachers. Where before I had none. I learned I have more rights than I thought I did when it came to requesting something from the school system. When asked about the homeschooling, I dont say a word about the kids, I just say, I learned alot. The day came when I had to decide. I was struggling getting my son motivated. I ask a question, dont remember what, the response to my question was, "Its not my job to go to school, my job is to play" That did it. Those were the magic words. He was back in school a week later with these words on my lips, "its your job to get an education". I dont regret a moment of it.
My first beading class didnt pan out, maybe it was for the best. It happened to land two days after my mother in law passed. Still, I couldnt help being disappointed. Then I got angry. First off, I accepted it possibly wouldnt happen. Accepted it. Then the opportunity came again and I said ok. Then that is what happens, No one comes. I wouldve been better just letting it go. After a couple days Ive come to this realization. I dont care if I teach anyone anything. I dont care if I help anyone anytime. In fact, Im at a point where I have to really ask myself, who am I really helping? This is the question Ive landed at. Regarding everything that has happened to me in the last month. In fact Ive gotten to a point where I could care less if Im considered selfish anymore. In fact at times in my life where I did things considered selfish, more good came to me because of it. Now doesnt that seem backwards. I try to hard. Not hard enough. You say one thing, someone comes up with another. Someone says your family, they turn around and say gossip. And sad thing is others believe it. And ya know, I KNOW MY TRUTH!!!! And the truth of it no one wants to know. If I were to say the truth, no one wants to know. They want you to defend it. They want excuses for it. Like I know why someone took something I said and came up with such a grand story not even I could stand there with a straight face and say not true. The truth of it is that deep down, the trust has never been there. So I say, forget them. Let them have their distrust in each other for I shall not carry it. Let them have their anger for I shall not carry it. Let them have their sadness for I shall no longer carry it. Let them have their issues, for I shall carry my own. I shall carry my own.
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hi hunnie its been a while since i wrote to you and it isnt all good news, so first im glad you got the teaching out of your system only you could have done it and sometimes it takes a smart answer from a child to make you see your path the one you need to walk, im sorry about the death in the family i know im sorry isnt much to say but as so many people say what else is there to say, close friends of mine have just lost (dad father in law) and are devestated i could only say sorry but now he has no more pain and they arnt waiting for that dreaded phone call in the middle of the night now, now for my news i have cancer but as i told my family positive thinking is what i need now its in my womb and at my age i dont need it now, so on the 6th of jan i go in for a hystorectomy if they can do it by key hole i will only be in hospital for 2 days but if the ceaser scar is in the way ill have to be cut open and will be in hospital for 7 days,either way im gonna be ok im not ready to meet my maker just yet, the only member of the family who dosent know is my next down sister she lost both her legs in 1999 just after my mum died and now her husband has liver and pancreatic cancer, so she dosent need to be worrying about me the rest of the family are doing a good job of that,i had to give my g/daughter a good talking to as she had shut herself in her bedroom and wouldnt talk to any one and i told her she had better be more positive as this is what i need right now, my son seems to have taken it quite badly to, as you know mums are indestructable or at least they are supposed to be so now i am just waiting, i go for my pre op on the 31st and then the op on the 6th what a start to a new year something about out with the old and in with the new,till i get on line again prob before christmas are you all ready for it cos im not its only 2 days out of a year and there will only be me and daughter jade so no big meals to get ready ect and she is good and will make sure we dont starve mm chance would be a fine thing, i wish you and yours a happy christmas and an even better new year for 2009 till later. blessings, may you always walk in the light lavender |
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