A Butch Translation.
The following is what a butch says.... underneath it, is what it actually means.
"I don't care what color you paint the kitchen".
As long as its not pink, blue, green, mauve or any color other than white.
"Its a butch thing"
There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of understanding it.
"Uh-huh, sure honey, yes dear"
Means absolutely nothing. Its a conditoned responce like Pavlov's dog drooling theory.
"Have you lost weight?"
I want to divert your attention from the fact that I just spent our last 50 bucks on a cordless drill.
"I could never date anyone else"
I know you would catch me.
"I'm sorry, it was all my fault."
I've got to get some sleep and I need to bring this argument to a hasty close.
"My girlfriend doesn't understand me"
She has heard all my stories before and is tired of them.
"Sure Honey you can drive"
OMG!!! Did I pay the insurance?!?!?.
"Its ok honey..I know oil and transmisson fluid look alot alike."
OMG!!! A New Engine.
"Thats a new look for you isn't it?"
What in the hell have you done to your self?
"Thats a nice dress."
How much did it cost me?
"Your the perfect woman for me"
NO one else would put up with me.
"I've got some important things to do today."
I'd rater be dipped in molten lead than go shopping
"Take a break honey..You work to hard."
I can't hear the game over the vacum cleaner.
"Oh don't fuss, I barely cut myself. Its no big deal.
I've nearly severed a limb but I'll bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt.
"What did I do this time?
What did you catch me doing?
"I don't want to get into an argument with you."
You have a valid point and I don't see how I'll win.
"oh She'll get over it"
After I've slept on the couch for a week.
"This is my house, and I'll do as I please in it!"
Leave me to my delusions..I beg you.
"I'm not going to argue with you anymore"
Because you are beginning to make sense