* How do you get the "Keep off the Grass" sign on the grass?
* How do you get off a non-stop flight?
* How do you know when you've run out of invisible ink?
* How do you throw away a garbage can?
* How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
* If a pig is sold to the pawnshop, is it considered ham-hock?
* If a turtle lost his shell, is he homeless, naked, or both?
* If I save time, when do I get it back?
* If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?
* If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do?
* If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
* If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
* If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?
* If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
* If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
* Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
* Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
* What do people in China call their good plates?
* What do you call a male ladybug?
* What do you say if you're talking to God, and he sneezes?
* What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?
* What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
* What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
* What makes cheese so confidential that we actually need cheese shredders?
* When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
* When cows laugh, does milk come out of their noses?
* When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to set it to?
* Where do they get Spring water in the other 3 seasons?
* Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?
* Why aren't there ever any guilty bystanders?
* Why do people tell you when they are speechless?
* Why do they give you a tape with a VCR to tell you how to use it?
* Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
* Why do we need training bras? What can we teach them?
* Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
* Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game," when we are already there?
* Why do your feet smell and your nose runs?
* Why do you need an appointment to see a psychic... shouldn't they already know you're coming?
* Why does it take 15 minutes to cook minute rice?
* Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
* Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
* If your scared half to death twice, what happens?
Any answers would be greatly appreciated, just post them on the message board, lol.