Listening by Kellie When i ask you to listen to me, and you start giving me advice, you have not done what i asked. When i ask you to listen to me, and you begin to tell me why i shouldn't feel that, you are trampling on my feelings. When i ask you to listen to me, and you feel that you have to do something to solve my problems, you have failed me, strange as that may seem. Listen, all i ask was that you listen not talk or do - just hear me - Advice is cheap. And i can do that for myself: I'm not helpless Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless. When you do something for me that i can and need to do for myself, you contribute to my fear and weakness. But when you accept as a simple fact that i do feel what i feel, no matter how irrational, then i can stop trying to convince you and can get about the buisness of understanding what's behind this irrational feeling, and when thats clear the answers are obvious and i dont need advice. Irrational feelings make sense when we understand whats behind them. So, Please Listen and just hear me. And if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn, i'll listen to you. Back to the Index |