 |
|
|
Reply
| | | From: Chimera (Original Message) | Sent: 7/19/2005 11:11 AM |
I’m currently having a crisis of conscience and would appreciate an active and lively debate on the subject of what exactly love is.
Let me explain the problem and then maybe you guy’s can help. I have to choose between two very different people, both of whom love me with equal intensity, one of whom is good in bed and the other who is not. One is adventurous like me and the other is not. One is brutal and harsh, threatening and forceful to the point of being scary and the other is as kind and gentle as they come but has physically injured me in the past. I live away from both of them and only get to see them occasionally but I’m confused as to whom if either to choose.
I’m not sure if I’m confusing sexual gratification for love or if I’m just infatuated with the first and just feel comfortable with the second. How do you know when it’s right? Are there a set of guides that indicate that it’s the ‘one�? Does anyone have any advice to protect your self from a potentially violent response to a rebuff? Do you tell them in person and risk the consequences or do you call and tell them on the phone?
A plethora of prior negative experiences have left me a little cynical and jaded and I don’t trust easily but this cynicism seems to make the choice even more confusing. To make matters worse still I am being encouraged to make a decision and quickly. So to recap how do you know when your in love? Are there any relevant questions I could ask myself that would help me clarify things in my own mind? Any advice would be gratefully received; I look forward to reading your responses. Thank you for reading this and for any contribution you might make. Luv Becky
|
|
 First
Previous
2-8 of 8
Next
Last
|
Reply
| | From:  Fluffa3 | Sent: 7/19/2005 2:20 PM |
I would say that if either of these people really loved you, they wouldn't be a) "brutal and harsh, threatening and forceful to the point of being scary" or b) "has physically injured me in the past". It's probably not as clear cut as this but, my gut reaction would be, you're better off without either of them. Do yourself a favour and find a woman who will treat you properly and respectfully |
|
Reply
| | | From: pooks0 | Sent: 7/19/2005 4:25 PM |
Becky,I think Fluffa has said alot of what I would like to say. I'm kind of new to all this as until recent years, i didn't know what love was until I discovered I was looking at the wrong sex!!! Mostly what I would like to say, Becky, is that I'm trying to learn myself after having my heart broken, but I do believe you will know when you are truly in love, though it may take time. If you have doubts, then you probably aren't in love, but you may be looking for love in the wrong places. Love can't be just great sex, or great kindness, it has to be a mixture of all aspects of our needs, but it must be mutual, be fulfilling, be respectful. Least ways that's what I feel. Hope this helps a little, hope you get on ok, take care,  Pookie. |
|
Reply
| | | From: Jazzie | Sent: 8/21/2005 9:50 PM |
I agree with what Fluffa has said.A couple of years back i was totally and utterly in love to the point where id have done anything she asked of me. But she was manipulating ,dominant angry at me a lot of the time for no reason whatsover, basically she controlled my every move even tho we were apart a lot of the time.I couldnt see it although all around me could, it wasn't untill after the final straw , with another fit of jealousy at me daring to have people in my life apart from her that i began to see the whole picture and got out. I see it all very clearly now and after almost a year of pining for her i found somone else and havent looked back. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect hun! *hugs*  |
|
Reply
| |
i also have to agree with the previous posts... 'be a part of' a relationship that makes you happy, makes you feel great about yourself its quite possible to be in love with someone who can hurt you, make you unhappy, or even not love you back, so maybe re-think how your looking at this good luck jan x |
|
Reply
| |
I would agree with all the posts....but i feel that not all of you are answering the question fully... no offense to any..it's just you see the brutal an kindness but physical injury and forget to answer the full question...... I agree that both these people don't sound very inviting as someone i would fall for, and yes if you are questioning your love then i believe it isnt real.....
you need to ask your self these questions.......
Does your heart pound everytime they walk in the room......
Do you get lost for words and out of breath with each touch....
Do you ever feel like your whole world has been torn apart because you have to leave them for a few months........
Do they make you happy.....
Do they make you feel like nothing could ever go wrong without saying a word.....
Do you feel like your floating on air everytime you hear them say "i love you"
If these things happen then i believe your in love..... That is how i feel everyday, when i see my girlfriend all i wanna do is scoop her up into my arms and never let her go... we just spent the most amazing 10 weeks together.... ok we had a few problems but she is my life... we have not even been apart a week and i feel so empty and lost... i cant bear not being with her but we have no choice for the time being.... if you ever feel like this with any one person then you are truely in love.... i have never felt this way about anyone until i met her.... we have been together now 2 yrs in january and i would have it no other way.
Hope ive helped...
once again no disrespect to anyone but i just thought the other half of the q needed to be answered
|
|
Reply
| |
Agree with whats been said ....... and why on earth are you "going out" with 2 people at the same time ??? must be very confusing |
|
Reply
| |
i bet it is i have trouble in just the one relationship....she is one hard girl to keep uop with but worth it |
|
|
First
Previous
2-8 of 8
Next
Last
|
|
Free Forum Hosting
Important Announcement
Recommend
Recommend
Recommend
Recommend
Recommend
Recommend
Recommend
Recommend
Return to Agony Aunt!
