Late to it Lesbians.

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just a questoin.....how long do you sit back and watch someone who is in a relationship that is not good for them.

i have watched a friend go from being a bright confident intellegent woman to a downtrodden individual who spends most of her time in tears.

her partner had persuaded her that she was mentally ill and she is now on medication for depression which seems to have ground her to an even bigger halt .

if i fone up he allways answers the fone and tells me she is not feelin up 2 comin to the phone ,so i went up there to see for myself ( 3hours drive away).

wot i found was as i expected he was talking about her like she wasnt there, he didnt like me being there, he tried to intimidate me but i just laughed (probably not the best idea but hey) and then he got frustrated and left.

problem i have (please excuse the waffle) is she wouldnt have a convorsation with me about itno matter how hard i tried and all i could do in the end is tell her mi fone is on and tell all mi mates to keep an eye out for her and bung a phone number for a womens help group in her pocket.

its her life i know this, but im findin it hard to stand by an watch

I know it's really hard but, all you can probably do is be there for her. Do any of her other friends live closer and do they perhaps know any of her family. That might be a possibility. I would imagine he has probably got her so scared that she just goes along with what he says as well as believing him. You could probably talk till you are blue in the face and make no difference. At least tho, you will know that you are a really good friend to her and hopefully, she will be able to find enough strength to break away from him and get her life back to normal

Sometimes the more ppl tell you not to do summat or stay in a bad situation the more determined you will be to just go ahead and do it or stay to prove that person wrong. It is hard for you to sit back and watch but I'm sure she will see in times how wrong he is for her. So unfortunately all you can do is hope that time comes soon and be there for her when she realises and needs her friends. You are a good, loyal and true friend.

Hope everything works out soon

unfortuanely the others are right. i had a friend in a similar circumstance and she would not listen to a bad word said about him. It got to the extent that we did not talk for 2 years because i kept pushing (big mistake). She eventually saw him for what he was and came running back. You just have to step back and when needed be there to pick up the pieces, its hard.

sorry skweela, think the others are right, nothing you could say or do would make much difference. you've done just about all you can, letting her know you are there for her.

hopefully when she finds some of strength, she'll call for help.

hope things come right for her

thanks everyone ,i think i already knew the answer to the question but sometimes u just gotta run it by someone else aint ya?

i appreciate u all takin the time to reply

thanks again

skweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeela x

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