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| | From:  BobbieLePage (Original Message) | Sent: 11/4/2005 9:19 PM |
When my mother divorced my abusive father ( sexuly abused all 3 of us girls and raped and hit my mother) all the familt turned away from us. I was only 8 at the time of the divorce and my sister is 10 years older, then brother , 11 years older, sis, 13, bro 15, so they were all adults when it happened but they won't speek to me or mum. Now I have a daughter I would love to let her see her aunts, uncles and cousins but they won't come here if mum is here. I wish they would tell me what she did wrong in getting a divorce from him in the first place and also beleave that he did abuse me when I was only 8. How do I get the family together without him getting near my daughter? Also, how do I get them all talking again? |
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Hi Bobbie this is a difficult one I do know where your coming from in many ways I was kinda the same situation many years ago may be your brother & sister some how blame your mum for what happend to them maybe you can arrange for your sister and brother to meet you somewhere with your daughter and take it from there you build the relationship with them on your terms that way you know your daughter will be safe let the problem with your mum and them be for now give it more time and let your friendships become strong first then who knows what may happen . all the best what ever you decide take care Hugs Susy xxxxx |
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hey huni...ive been trhu sexual abuse myself and am currently in middle of a court case to do with one account of it the 1st time ti happened t me i was 6 and then it happened again this yr in may and im now 23... the only thing i can suggest is maybe talkin them all into coming round saying u need all the family there and see if it works?? |
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Thank you both, I needed to get it out. My father did go to court for what he did to me when he did it. I hope he is on the sex offences regester! But I bet he is not. I've tried to get together with both sisters but when I said I would not go to my fathers birthday party as I wished him dead for what he did to me, they asked what and did not beleave me when I told them. I'm sure they knew. I'm not so fussed about my sisters and brothers but would love the cosins to play with my daughter, or at least see her. |
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afraid i have no advice for you bobby, i also brought up my daughter away from any family... my friends are my family, you can choose friends.... hope your ok... hugs x |
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None of my family have anything to do with me now. All I can do is to try and keep a line of communication open in case my mum ever realises what she`s lost by not speaking to me coz of the way I am. So I send her an Xmas card every year, get nothing back but at least she knows I`m still alive. At least try to stay in touch with your family, or those that you want to, and hopefully one day things will work out. Send them a photo of you and your daughter. But there isn`t going to be a quick fix for you, hun, sorry. x |
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Hi Bobbie, My younger sister, Sherry, is going through a similar yet opposite situation. She's got 2 young kids, Maddie and Wade. About 14 years ago or so, our parents divorced. In our situation, my dad started having an affair with his High School Sweetheart and he just left all of us. Even though we were all adults, we're still not sure of exactly why this happened with the exception of this woman coming back into his life. It was like a He said or did (meaning my dad)/She said or did (mom) thing. When my dad left my mom, he stayed in touch with my brother and sister although its far and few. He and I were always close (I was definately "daddy's girl"). He made me make choose between my mom and his new wife. Although mom and I don't get along, she's still mom, so I told him that 1) No child no matter the age should be made to choose between their mom and the parents new spouse. 2) In response to the ultimatium I was given, I told him later on. A few months later, on Christmas day, I had a message from my dad saying he'd disowned me...that was 11 years ago. We still haven't talked.    My sister's kids know that they have a Grandma, an aunt (me), an Uncle (my brother) & Cousins (my brother's kids) But they no nothing about their Grandpa although they know they have one on my sisters side of the family. She's been trying really hard to get my dad to see her kids, his grandkids but won't do it. Its a really hard situation for the parents of kids. I hope it works out for you all Hugs Jazzy |
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