Hi Jugs

Welcome to LTIL hun. First of all calm yourself , chillout and chat on the boards here its a friendly site and will give you a chance to explore your feelings.

I know exactly how you are feeling having been through the married with children stage myself and so have a lot of the ladies on these boards.

In answer to your question are you gay or bi....well you are definately Bi hun as you are not repelled by the thought of sleeping with a woman. Gay? maybe only you will know over time as you accept this new aspect of you and whether you will ever be sexually attracted to a male again.

As to why now? well when i thought about my own situation..... i was just to busy fitting in with society, family, raising children and maturing myself to actually sit down and think about what i wanted from life. I also did not know that "gay" was a lifestyle option back then. I would imagine you are either deeply unhappy so have spent time thinking about what you want from life or your children are now older and you actually have the time. There is also the element of when we are younger we can just drift without thinking into roles we are expected to fill. Spend some time exploring your feelings , post furthur on here if it helps and remember you are not alone a lot of us have been through the same. Hope that is of some help. Jacx

Thank you for your calming reply.

 

I'm finding it very difficult.  I love my family and don't want to hurt them in anyway.  I have a lovely extended family too who I am also frightened of hurting.  I don't like myself very much at the moment for letting myself get into this mess.

 

I am scared of what the future is going to bring.

 

I am trying to explore on sites such as this at the moment but even this is causing problems with by husband.  He can't see why I need to go on chat rooms and of course I don't what him seeing, so it all seems very underhand and frustrating.

Ju

Hello again Ju  am glad you popped back and feel a little calmer maybe.

 

Apart from discovering you are attracted to women which you already knew from your earlier "gay" experience. What mess have you got in to cause you to hate yourself hun?

Im sure a lot of your straight female friends are attracted to their male workmates, sexual attraction makes the world go round...its perfectly normal and is a good hint that you are alive. It doesn`t mean the end of your marriage unless you chose to take it to the next level.

Explore online when you can and give yourself time to come to terms with accepting the new you.

Once you can love you again then maybe you will find the future is fine as it is. If not then at least you will be able to act with certainty having had time to think out the consequences.

Jacx

 

 

Am I letting my thoughts run away too much too soon.  May be I am.  Yes, I will try to just take things slowly and easy and see what happens.  You might be right, I may be worrying about hurting my family unnecessarily.  I'll concentrate on me and my feelings first!

 

Thank you once again.  The flowers are for you as a thanks.

 

Ju

 

 

 

Hi Ju, & welcome to the group.Reading your post brings back alot of thoughts & feelings i experienced(& in truth many I still do) having realised my sexuality on reaching the tender age of 39,being a mother of two.I never thought I would follow through with the way my feelings were taking me,didn't see it as an option.I felt as you are now. That was 5 years ago.I'm now totally comfortable living my life as a gay woman.I am bringing up my two children,now 15 & 13(boy & girl) who totally support me.I protect them as much as possible so that they can chose who knows their mother is gay amongst their friends.It's not always easy,but I've been very lucky ,it really hasn't been too hard either. We have a very open, supportive & loving relationship.There's so much to say about the journey you may decide to make. It's so very different for everyone.If we can help in any way,& Jacx has given you wise words,you'll find lots of ladies here who have been in,or are in a very similar situation.Kathy.(Pooks)

Hi there, just so u know u r not alone, i have always been attracted to other women but never dared do anything about it till a year ago, like u i'm married have kids who r now grown up n have left home, i now take this as MY time to do what i want to do n not what is expected of me, l'm still married n he does not know of my preference for other women n i'm happy to keep it that way, a little underhand i know but i dont want to hurt anyone, i've been with 4 lovely women since last yr & i'm glad to say that 3 of them have stayed close friends, it's very hard at first but once u overcome the shyness & the guilt it's the most fantastic experince u will ever have, enjoy ur journey n ur sexuallity xxxxx

 

hi there, hope ur soul searching is going well! i've been there too hun was married for 21 years lol n 3 kids too so thought long n hard about wot i was n wot i wanted. its not been easy but just try n chill, dont rush into anything but try n take timeout for yourself first of all. i've made my decisions and am almost divorced now but my kids dont know about me being gay yet. am hoping they wil be cool about it! if u get chance, try n make some gay friends, maybe u wil be able to talk it thro on here,and that mite answer some of ur questions. dont know if this helps lol but hope so! best of luck! x