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some how....im not entirely sure how...i have wound up with 2 people ermm....sort of in love with me. and i love them both. one is a guy the other a girl. they both know OF each other, but not that i love the other, and the guy doesnt know im bi. the strange part is that im not in a relationship with either for various reasons, but not out of choice. both have had some bad pasts and need me (but have hearts of gold) so i can leave neither, not that i would want to. both.....relationships (im not a couple with either)....are serious, and are the strongest emotions i have possibly felt for another person, and now i doubt i could live without either but definitely could not have both. the guy even wants to marry me and the girl feels strongly too i believe. love, a torn between two hearts, smile  advice? |
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| | From:  0holz0 | Sent: 5/7/2004 8:30 PM |
hello, I dont know you but I have read your post and thought that I maybe could comment. Believe me I am not an expert but having been in a similar situation so here goes... you have to be completley honest with yourself, you sound as if you are with them through guilt not because you really want to be, be with the one who makes YOU happy, dont be with someone because they need you. Or in long run could you be with both of them? Could you tell the guy that you are bi? Ask yourself what you really want, do either of them make you really happy.? I know that there are so many questions but by facing this head on is the only way through it. I only know that you need to be selfish and take yourself out of the situation just for a bit and look from the outside in. You also say you doubt if you could live without either of them, believe me you can, live for yourself not them. |
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hi smiles you can have both in your life, and support both, as a friend... and as long as you make that clear to them both, no one gets hurt.. mals right, you go with what makes you happy... no matter how sh*tty someones past, they cant use that to hold on to you, thats just not fair to you... you can love someone without 'being in love' with them.... and only you can decide what to do, alls we can do is give our opinions... whatever you choose, good luck... hugs janx |
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thanx, you are both right. The latest situation is that i asked the guy if we could just be friends for a few years, and after that I left it a little open, as i just dont know whats going to happen to me in the future. I still love him, he makes me happy, he still thinks one day we might get married, but i made it clear that at the moment i want to be friends. I think i have more attraction to the girl, who i really have fallen head over heels for, but its heartbraking that she lives so far away, and although we talk constantly, i can rarely see her. Im going to give it a try and see what happens. I dont believe i could be with both of them, however great that sounds, because i dont think it would be fair on the other. Yet both still make me blissfuly happy. I love too much and am loved too much! lol. thanx all. Love smile |
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| | | From: jelly_b | Sent: 5/19/2004 2:58 PM |
wot i think you should do is tell both party's the situation with the other
so if one of them finds out (say they are a part of the website you post all
this on n this falls straight into thier mail box) it won't look so bad on
u, n they will not go totally apeshit n fell like their hearts have been
ripped out n stomped on n like they have been totally betrayed n used
something tells me this girl ur attracted to really likes you as you seem
really guilty wen u tlk about her dnt you ever worry about her mental state
you sed they both really need you in what way?any way i thnk you should come
clean n b brutally honest with them otherwise itll will come crashing down
on u.do u really want to risk losing what you've got?Just think about it.
>From: "always_smiling" <[email protected]>
>Reply-To: "Late to it Lesbians." <[email protected]>
>To: "Late to it Lesbians." <[email protected]>
>Subject: Re: Dilema
>Date: Sat, 8 May 2004 12:52:28 -0700
>
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| | | From: Shaz | Sent: 6/9/2004 11:25 PM |
Hi I feel very similar to you. It a killer isnt it. But you have to keep smiling hey X |
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