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| | From:  jandancer33 (Original Message) | Sent: 9/9/2002 3:22 PM |
Okay, serious stuff.... I think gay couples should be treated exactly the same as straight couples, when it comes to adopting kids. Some people make good parents, some dont.... Straight or gay doesn't make any difference..... Being 'GAY' shouldn't effect anything you do in life..... What are your veiws? does being 'Gay' change things... and why???? Jan x x x |
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ok serious.........i am a biesexual lady with two children, but out of fear for them, i prefer to keep my sexuality to myself and a few close friends!! People can be so narrow minded, and intentionally or not, pass this on to thier own kids!! Should gay/lesbian/Bi (blah blah blah) people have children..................i know so, i have kids, and a damn fine parent at that, but i find it a shame that i can not be open!!!!! My only hope is in my children, and that i can teach them that age, colour, religion, sexuality is nothing to fear!!!!, and with any luck they will grow up and be loving, fun, caring, happy adults!! (and with any luck, really rich!!!!) Ok, serious bit done, i'm just gonna chill now!!!! Lecture by JstChillin!!!!xxxxxxxxxxxxx |
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I personally agree with Jan, being gay should not effect anything about your life or how you plan to live it. An adopted child needs a secure home life with stability and most of all lots of love, nothing it cannot recieve with a gay couple. The person that makes you feel safe and warm at night is your partner, be they male, female or other as long as the relationship is loving and secure, the sex of the parents should be irrelevant. At the end of the day any child is better off in a loving 'family' environment than anywhere else and thats what matters most. Anyone else? Sarah x |
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| | | From: sallyl | Sent: 9/10/2002 4:42 PM |
As a lesbian mother of four, i agree that your sexuality should not make any difference in adopting kids.Kids need a loving stable environment in which to grow. Their are too many of them stuck in unhappy ' straight' homes being totaly neglected ,with often no questions asked,and too many waiting for adoption..If someone can offer a child a secure home and have the parenting skills needed,being single, gay,bi or lesbian should not be an issue Sal |
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I agree with all that has been said so far. When I adopted my son it wasn't an intentional thing, it just happened. I was his respite carer and had him for weekends and holidays. When he left his parents he came to live with me and we went from there. So I never sat and applied to adopt. If I had I don't think I would have mentioned being gay at all. When I think about it though I get mad at myself for that, as it is like hiding a big part of myself. With regards to are gays good parents.... I was on my own with my boy for the first 5 years. We got on great.... he has severe learning difficulties and is a full time job, but we had fun together. When my gf moved in he then had both of us to love him and meet all his needs. How can that be worse for him than having just me? Going back to when he was with his parents.... he had a mum and dad... they abused and neglected him. So doesn't that just prove the fact that it doesn't matter if a child has one parent or two..... gay or straight... etc.. it is having a parent or parents that show a child the way in life.... make them feel loved and important that matters. In our area the local authority has a positive discrimination policy going. There are posters all over the place about gay parents and adoption etc... they encourage gay people/couples to come forward to adopt. So I guess that may be a step in the right direction. But I eagerly await the day when it isn't even a factor. The day when it isn't even mentioned. Because that is when we are completely equal. |
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I dont think it should make any difference. The most important things a child needs is love and security, who provides this is immaterial. I have 3 children from a marriage which ended some years ago. I have been an "out' lesbian for about 5 years, this hasnt always been easy for my kids, they love and accept me for who I am, but have had trouble from other kids, especially neighbours. I can understand if other gay parents feel the need to keep quiet about their sexuality to protect their kids, and Im not a raving crusader!! but experience has shown that if you act like youve got something to hide, people will try all the harder to find out what it is, wheras if you can be matter of fact about it, they dont get the same satisfaction out of the gossip! What do other people think?? Fran x |
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I agree totally with you Fran.....I believe that you cannot teach anyone...let alone your children, that it is ok to be different, that it is ok to be gay or lesbian....if you hide it. Something that is hidden.,.automatically registers in people's minds as WRONG. Do you know what I mean? Everyone knows that actions speak louder than words. We can spend our whole lives saying "it's not wrong" or "we are equal" but if we act the total opposite...then we aren't really being true to what we are saying. No one wants their children to have to go through teasing or trouble with other kids or neithbors. The fact of the matter is though....that every kid has something they are picked on about..whether it be their weight, the way they dress, whatever..As sad as that may be...it is a fact of life. We cannot always protect our kids from that. If we DO hide who we are, trying to protect them....then we really aren't helping them at all. We all learn as we grow. WE all learn from our experiences.,,,both the good and bad. In order to grow strong...sometimes you have to struggle. Trust me, I know. I had alot of troubles in my childhood....I went through hell most days. However, it is because of those trials that I am who I am today. I am not a "crusader" either...but how are we to teach our children to stand up for themselves...for what they believe in...if we ourselves are hiding in a closet out of fear of other people's reaction? ALthough I totally understand why people don't come out.....I don't belive it is the way to make this world change into the place we are always saying we want it to be. Life is not always easy or fair. No one can dispute that. There are times in life where you just wish everything would go away and you could have peace. WE have all been there. Our job as parents is to teach our children to be strong....for they will never survive in this big bad world...if they are always concerned or scared of other people's opinions or reactions. I will show my son that I am proud of who I am...who I love...and he will in turn grow up ((( I hope)) being proud of whoever and whatever he will be. I cannot teach him to stand up and be proud....if I don't do it. I could have lost everything and everyone in my life too, when I came out about Patty. I didnt have a good relationship with my family to begin with. I was always criticized for something or an other. However...once they seen that I had made my stand...that I was willing to risk them all...to be me...to love who I had fallen in love with...they respected that. I got lucky. Not all of us will. All I know is this. I LOVE Patty. I am PROUD of her....and I WILL NOT walk down the streets in ANY city in this world..and not hold her hand. I will not treat her like a secret....I will shout out to the entire universe..THIS IS MY WOMAN...My life...and if you don't like it...F*** You! lol SOrry for rambling....this is just my opinion Jenn |
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| | | From: Al_b5 | Sent: 7/29/2003 11:41 AM |
sorry to add this a bit late...but oh well... i'm all for anyone having kids as long as the children will be loved and looked after and have a good sense of security and everything else a child could ever want or need.. but one thing i have noticed is that, i had known someone who's mum was gay and even tho no one said anything to the person's face there was always the comments when she left or was not there..but that's just being people being narrow minded, cos when i met her mum, she was a really nice person and she didn't deserve these people insulting her, behind her and her daughter's back. if i really wanted children (which i aint too sure about cos i still see myself as a child) i would have one and as long as i knew i can give the child a good upbrining with or without a woman in my life i think no one should comment as not every straight family is as perfect as they would like to make out half the time... well enough of me going on..  Al |
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