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gay parents : Xs & Kids
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Recommend (1 recommendation so far) Message 1 of 13 in Discussion 
From: loonielorn  (Original Message)Sent: 12/27/2002 10:52 PM
Hi All...
 
Not sue why I write...Hoping 2 find someone that knows how it feels! Feel in love with a woman three & bit years ago... she had two children ... at the time seven and fifteen... wasn't long before I loved them too.. it wasn't always easy but I do believe kids are everything... Me and my partner split up seven months ago... I can deal with the relationship breakup...cause I was so unhappy... But the kids it's breaking my heart... She lets me see them ever so often... but not enough...one minut were co-parents the next I have no say... I can't let go... and it hurts... She promised me xmas eve with them and the night befire she cancelled... Looking for someone that understands and someone that won't tell me to walk away as so many of my friends do? thanks for taking the time to read this.......
 
lorn


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Recommend  Message 2 of 13 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameUntiedCatSent: 12/28/2002 12:35 AM
Hi lorn
 
I know how you feel and all I can say is don't give up hun. Try to see them whenever you can and when she will permit. Time will tell and the kids will have a say.
 
Good luck hun 

Reply
Recommend  Message 3 of 13 in Discussion 
From: soulsearcher507Sent: 1/2/2003 1:34 AM
Hi
Im new to this group but my partner left along with her 10 yr old daughter just before Christmas. We had been together for 5 years. I know its early days but she has said she wants nothing to do with me. I am allowed no contact.
You may ask what did I do but frankly I dont honestly know. She had a different agenda I guess. and it just seems its the only way she can handle the split right now, but in the meantime Ive not been allowed to see the little girl or even give her the Christmas presents I have for her.
Christmas was just hell !
Its breaking my heart but she is oblivious to how much I am hurting right now because she has a real downer on me and obviously has her own issues.
The other problem is that I dont know what is being said to our little girl about me either and that hurts too.
I love them both so much, even tho so much water has now passed under the bridge and I have begged to remain friends, Ive even had to do that via her sister . The relationship breakdown is one thing, I can handle that  but not being allowed any part in her daughters life is more than i can bear at times.
 
soul
x

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Recommend  Message 4 of 13 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknamePsychydykeSent: 1/2/2003 5:40 PM
I am on the other end of your situation .  I remain good friends with my ex and allow her as much access as she wants to my 5 year old daughter....we met when she was 2 and split around  8 months ago.  It is a balancing act though as my daughter also sees her father regularly and I also have to consider my present partner and her getting to know my daughter.
I sympathise and would never keep my daughter away from my ex as she has helped me to bring her up and is an important part of her life still, although time is limited that she can spend there we seem to manage.  
I suppose the only advice I could offer is cherish the time you do get and some people are far less fortunate.
Psych x 

Reply
Recommend  Message 5 of 13 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameUntiedCatSent: 1/2/2003 7:24 PM
Hi soul
 
sorry to hear your situation. My ex and I split up 3 years ago. We were together 9 years and he was 7 at the time (he was a planned baby :o) She lets me see him whenever I like as long as it's convinient all round. So I'm lucky in that way but if things had of been different and I have been heard to say that if she ever did stop me, I would take it to court (end in the european probably lol) Thankfully thats never been called for and we all get on great.
 
But I'd seek legal advice if I was you and see if there is anything in our judicial service that can help.  You've got nothing to lose to find out and everything to gain if something amicable can be worked out.
 
I wish you luck in whatever you decide to do
 
And psychy, I know what you mean about the balance, tis not easy.
 
Cazza

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Recommend  Message 6 of 13 in Discussion 
From: loonielornSent: 1/4/2003 11:12 PM
Hi Cazza,
thanx 4 message... Tryin me hardest...Missin the kids so bad it's been 3 weeks now! Haven't seen them all over xmas...though chatted on the fone... breakin me heart... Tryin to play her game..but I don't seem 2 win either way? I take hope in the fact that one is old enogh to make her own decisions and the other soon will b! I never thought itwould turn out this way! Thanks again... Howzit 4 u?
 
Lorn

Reply
Recommend  Message 7 of 13 in Discussion 
From: loonielornSent: 1/4/2003 11:17 PM
Soul,
feel 4 u! dropped off my x's kids prezzie's a couple of weeks b4 xmas... plan being that i'd see them xmas eve... she called me up that mornin and cancelled... broke my heart, haven,t seen them for three weeks now and i've never known a hurt like it! Feel so guilty though I have no control... can't bear to think how the kids are feeling... 2 why they think I haven't seen them! Feel so powerless... so guilty... yet I would b there now if only i could...

Reply
Recommend  Message 8 of 13 in Discussion 
From: loonielornSent: 1/4/2003 11:20 PM
Psyche,
 
I'm glad 2 hear things are different with u and ur x! I'm sure it's hard at times balancing it all out... Enough appreciation that you try... I hope my x will see the light... and let me see the kids for their sake and mine! and i hope u, ur x and the father always manage to find a balance...

Reply
Recommend  Message 9 of 13 in Discussion 
From: loonielornSent: 1/6/2003 10:21 PM
Just thought I'd give u an update...Tonight I saw the kids! It's was difficult (the x that is) but there is light at the end of the tunnel.... Feeling good!!!!!!!!!
 
lorn

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Recommend  Message 10 of 13 in Discussion 
From: FEMNDASKYSSent: 1/6/2003 10:53 PM
I REALLY DONT KNOW YA GIRLIE BUT I JUST KNOW HOW HAPPY I AM TO HAVE MY KIDS AND WITH AN EX INVOLVED THERE IS ALWAYS LIGHT AT THE END OF THAT TUNNEL CAUSE IT CANT GET ANY WORSE! LOL! BEST OF LUCK TO YA GIRLIE...

WISHEN YA THE BEST ON YOUR KIDS...
SKY

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Recommend  Message 11 of 13 in Discussion 
From: loonielornSent: 1/7/2003 8:02 PM
Sky
 
Thanks... The kids r everything 2 me... on a good day my x appreciates that on a bad... she doesn't! Hasn't been ez... but yeah the light is on and for that i'm glad... Wishing u the best for u, ur kids & ur x
 
lorn

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Recommend  Message 12 of 13 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknamePsychydykeSent: 1/9/2003 4:23 PM
Lorn,
 
Glad to hear you saw the kids. Keep plugging away at it, it can only get better
 
Psych x

Reply
Recommend  Message 13 of 13 in Discussion 
From: loonielornSent: 1/9/2003 10:30 PM
Psych...
 
Thanks!     and to all u women out there... Mothers, step Mothers, co-parents... Girlfriends...  Is not always easy... remember strength in weakness felt! Everything 4 a reason! I lose sight every now and again... standing on solid ground right now... turning it around i was overwhelmed by the loss i was feeling...but right now i'm grateful for the joy i've felt.
 
Lorn x

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