Late to it Lesbians.

Important Announcement

The MSN Groups service will close in February 2009. You can move your group to Multiply, MSN’s partner for online groups. Learn More

Well here goes, I sould like some advice to see where I go from here. My ex partner and I were together for 10 years and we had two children together via the same donor. The children and now 5 and 4 and have no contact as my ex partner has decided it is not working out. She met someone else who had 3 kids via her marriage and moved her in to our house and us out. I was very very bitter for a long time, we split up two years ago now and at our last meeting jsut in the New Year I was very rude and not very nice to her. I am now over her completely and want nothing more to do with her at all but I do want the kids to see one another as they are brother and sister after all. I gave birth to the first and her to the second. Question is should I leave the kids to sort it out when they are older or get back in touch and eat mega humble pie! My wee man is very upset about it all?

Answers on a postcard please to...lollll

i cant tell you whats right hun, but i'll give you my opinion,

i'd eat humble pie, agree to be civil for the sake of the kids, and arrange for then to see eachother as often as is possible, and also for you to see the child she has custody of, and visa versa. maybe one visit with you, one with her, something like that.

things get said and done when we are hurting, but whats said is said, but it can be repaired, and what matters, is whats best for the kids.

you said youre over her, and shes with some one, so maybe now its time to agree to disagree on some things, and be civil for the kids sake. they'll thank you for it!

hope this helps you out a bit hun, and theres always someone here to give you a bit of support, or just a friendly ear...

I've not been in this situation, but felt i had to say the following:

The children are missing each other and as parents its up to us to try to make their lives as happy and contented as we possibly can. Yes we make mistakes and sometimes things don't work out the way we would want them to, but if at all possible we should try to make the effect on the kids as little as we possibly can.

I think you are almost there in answering your own question about eating humble pie! If it were me, and i'm not you, i would have to do my best to enable them to continue to be brother and sister, even if it meant i had to suffer the indignity of being nice to my ex. It will be hard for you, i'm sure. The kids will thank you for enabling them to keep in contact eventually i'm sure.

I deal with lots of kids whose parents have split up and the one thing they all say is that they miss their siblings, even if they did fight like cat and dog at times. Many of them have gone out of their way to get in touch with younger siblings, without parents knowing at times.

Sometimes we have to agree to disagree, it's just life.

I do think the hardest thing for you will be get your ex to agree but hopefully as a mum she will see that it's for the kids NOT you and her.

Sorry if i've overstepped the mark answering this, but as i said , i have so many kids who have problems because of parents splitting that i will do anything i can to stop more kids being hurt.

(Couldn't fit all this on a postcard hun, sorry!!!)

have to agree with whats already been said includeing I'm not an expert and I don't really know your situation and I'm not the one living it. Good luck hun and if you fancy a chat, there's always a listen ear in one of the chat rooms

Hows it going with you? Hope things are getting sorted for you and your wee man. If you need a friendly ear, i'm here, email me if you'd like to, I'm on contact page.

Thinking of you babe

Important Announcement The MSN Groups service will close in February 2009. You can move your group to Multiply, MSN’s partner for online groups. Learn More
Late to it Lesbians.	[email protected]