Inside every older lady is a younger lady -- wondering what the hell happened.
-Cora Harvey Armstrong-


Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out.  But I can usually shut her up with chocolate.

 
The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
-Helen Hayes (at 73)-


I refuse to think of them as chin hairs.  I think of them as stray eyebrows.
-Janette Barber-
 

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
-Lily Tomlin-


A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
-Carrie Snow-

 

Laugh and the world laughs with you.  Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.
-Laurie Kuslansky-

 
My second favorite household chore is ironing.  My first being, hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
-Erma Bombeck-

 
Old age ain't no place for sissies.
-Bette Davis-

 
A man's got to do what a man's got to do.  A woman must do what !  he can't.
-Rhonda Hansome- 

 
Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the windows.
-Jennifer Unlimited-

 
Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good.  Luckily, this is not difficult.
-Charlotte Whitton-

 
Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
-Caryn Leschen-


I try to take one day at a time -- but sometimes several days attack me at once.
-Jennifer Unlimited-

 
If you can't be a good example -- then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
-Catherine- 

 

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb -- and I'm also not blonde.
-Dolly Parton- 

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.. -Elayne Boosler- 

 

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
-Maryon Pearson-

  In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man.  If you want anything done, ask a woman.
-Margaret Thatcher- 


I am a marvelous housekeeper.  Every time I leave a man, I keep his house.
-Zsa Zsa Gabor-