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| | | From: Ms Kelly (Original Message) | Sent: 5/8/2003 9:52 PM |
I do not know where to place this post but perhaps I will start here. I just want to say a few things. I have been here around a month and abit now,its been an education for me,in the best possiable way. Im sorry if it appeared I didnt respect this community,I do very much. I really want to say sorry if any of my posts appeared I didnt value your opinion,I do very much...I want to say a big sorry about my appearance in chat and not being more open about myself to you...I find Im better at expressing myself when I post on the boards. To speak in chat or if I sat opposite you I would not know how to say it,I would just stare at you. Im having a great deal of trouble accepting who I am,I so find it hard. Its like I have always pretended and tried to dispose and deny these feelings for females for as long as I can remember.If I act like I dont care,then I think I cant get hurt, but I do hurt. Im 31 now and was under the impression that life would have been boxed off by then,all nice and simple,it just never quite happens that way. Im a little apprehensive about my 30s and wonder which way the road will turn for me.I want all the best things too. Theres a song that starts,"on the mountain stands a lady, who she is, I do not know",well thats me and she will be found...by me. I just find it hard to express my feelings in person,but writing them down and reading them is real cool,seeing it written in here and knowing folks will see it has been a real weight of my shoulders. I have wrote things in here I have never said outside my head to anyone ever,thats so important to me. I know one day soon I will see a chink of light that I can say is my own,it will feel really good too.Why did the rule book expect us to turn out a certain way? crazy! Perhaps one day soon,I thought I would never say this ever!!!!! you will be able to say hello to me in person.just dont ask me for a light,I dont smoke!! It feels real good saying all the above and thanks for reading this...Im not letting of steam just throwing a log on the dying fire...regards to each of you ,missy kelly.. |
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Dee stands up and applaudes!!!! Bravo!! Well said Jan! Ms K......just be yourself hun! We're all here with you in the same boat... so to speak!! Hugs ~~ D |
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ooowww, ms kel, your going to be awfully busy 2nite! a long row of us ladies, all awaiting our promised kisses  {{stop pushing now girls, stay in line, theres plenty to go round }} heeheheee i like this game...... hugs jan x x x (ps... ms kel, wheres/whats porticulis house ) and wouldnt surprise me in the least if di and dodi (was that his name?) are alive and well! lets face facts.... they were never going to be left alone, would never have been accepted, so what better to fake a death and move to a tiny island where no one cares who you are... money can but anything!!!! but seriously..... i always did think it was a wee bit weird how the guards all 'suddenly' fell behind, and the car crashed 'inside' the tunnel?????? alive or dead, it stinks of 'something not right' to me..... |
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Ooooooooooooooooooooo gurlz!!! I can see the tabloids now! Where are Di and Dody?!?!?! T This convo could definitely get the imaginations running amok...lol! What is "amok" anyway....where is that dictionary...lol! Hugs & Kisses ~~ D |
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Is it something from anne summers MsKelly ????, or maybe expensive jewelery, Amink coat (fake of course), an invite for lucheon on the patio at Beckingham palace , errmmmmm, give up.....Love me xxxx |
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Who mentioned Ann Summers (I am not looking)
I went to Windsor Castle when I arrived back here last year did a photo shoot.. but the Queen wouldnt let me in for afternoon tea.. I was beratted here is me a Drag King (I thought I was royalty too) not going for those cucumber sandwichs
Paul
Half price modem, FREE connection and one month FREE - click here to sign up to BT Broadband. |
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I actually own an anne summers catalog Angel,lol what a laugh that is... but no it not any of those things you said..but thanks for the reply an invitation? hmmm Paulie i have visted Windsor castle,its the oldest working castle in England and little known fact here,its alleged they dont know how many rooms there are in it? its supposed to be well over a thousand! can you believe that? i mean wow! oh did you really do a photo shoot there?? Portcullis house Jan if you are in... is a parlimentry building in London that is used for committee meetings and government agenda and has restaurants and living quarters and all sorts of things in it,its not really quite easy to spot i think,as i dont think i seen it all that well when i was on the london big eye ,its architecture blends in quite well,so maybe thats why i couldent see it so well.. It stands near the houses of parliment and has a corridor i think running underneath the ground to connect the two!! the critisim over costs was i think uncallled for,i mean this building is meant to stand for as long as the houses of parliment and look at how long they have stood for! every country requires in my opinion symbols of power and wealth when its linked to gorvenment,i mean look at the pentagon? i wont dribble on here as i will start to look like supernerd and i cant have that goin on! whats in that box? thanks. p.s im still going to let off steam in here! my little den this is! lol |
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| | | Sent: 10/13/2003 11:45 AM |
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you know thats the first time i have that first post in ages,i was scared to read it too,infact i havent want to read much of it, im 32 now,not all that long ago either. i have realised much about myself now,what i am, walking into somewhere while i was away made me realise something about myself ,and who i was and feeling some peace at last, everyone was the same,i was the same. im the same ,just something about me has changed now forever.some people just try to think they can ignore it but i remember reading in this comm a comment someone left along time ago..which i never forgot..it was something like this.."you could try and deny it in yourself ,return to the old ways,go back to the straight life ,but sooner or later..it will all come out in the end that part about yourself, you cant keep running from it........(this is so true,i believe it anyway) i hope everyone has found something they can believe in ,if this was you having to accept yourself and just live it,i know its not always going to be easy,i know i have to harden up even more,but i know i dont have to feel guilty,little things i do now,i wouldent have done 12 months or so ago,things have to change. didnt think id add to this but wanted to,i may again add, thanks to you all for reading and sharing my thoughts over the last 12 months or so,i know i dont explain to well sometimes how i feel but im trying here! not one for sentimentality i am nor being too showy! hmmm |
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You're an interesting character, Ms. Kelly. |
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ms kelly, hun i'm 45, and still not settled to what i want, you have 10years on me, its never too late, i wish i'd had the nerve to stand up years ago and accept i like wimmen!! no matter how much i am told age dosnt matter--it dose, so make the best of the early years!! looks are not everything i am constantly told, well with only one 2week relationship behind me and no other interested person, i have to say get em while your young--30ish is young!!, dont fret sweetheart, there is plenty time to find your way, no i have not given up!!! and i do have a few real good friends, and i am quite happy just to have them, to understand i am not queer, i have natural feelings,being gay is natural, thats why there is so many of us. we are not alone!! |
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thankyou for the reply cuddlecuffs1, aberdonian11 very good of you to reply thanks,i actually think now and again,im late you know?? at my age anyway, its great for those younger who grasp early what they want and who they truly are you know?? for me it was just,how can say this,its like this is going to sound strange maybe,but its like having a "friend" follow you around for years ,but you wont acknowledge her,she is the real you but you wont say hello ,you know she is there you know?? but you simply wont let her in,you just wont connect with it or allow it,mad isnt it!?? |
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