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I love my kids very much and always will but a lot going on at the moment especially with my youngest son who is 13yrs I have tried with him but his violence and attitude towards his sister and myself has caused a divide its a long story but he will be going to live with his father I feel I have failed him in some way I just want him to be happy and settled with life around him I am at this moment in time feeling very hurt and very confused I just needed to get this feeling out |
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childeren are a mystery susy, you do all thats humanly possible to show them right from wrong, guide them, and they still do things that you just can't understand. don't feel that you have failed him, by sending him to his dads, your still trying to do right by him, do what's best for him, and for your other children. hang on in there susy, stay strong, your doing what's best for a whole family, and thats what's important. take care susy {{{hugs}}} janx |
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Susy, I can only reiterate what Jan has already said. You are doing what is right for ALL your family and haven't failed anyone. Keep your chin up hun. Some time apart may be just what is needed. My sister was in a similar situation a few years ago with her eldest daughter. It was a hard decision for her to make, and she felt guilty at the time, but it was definately the right move. My niece was 14 at time and my sister had other children who were being affected by their sisters behaviour. Infact the whole family was strained by it all. My neice came to live with me for a while, and it took the pressure off. After a while she began to rebuild the relationships she had with her parents and siblings. I don't think she could have done that without moving out. Now 7 years down the line she has successfuly lived back home with her family for a while, and they got on! And now she has left home and has her own house and her own baby. 7 years ago the thought of her ever being responsible for a child seemed impossible. Sometimes that bit of distance can make all the difference. <<<Hugs>>> |
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Thankyou Jan and Ruthie I do hope we can build a good relationship again in time children are a mystery suppose always will be and it helps to know that I'm not the only one who is or has been going through this the feeling of guilt comes from being mum and I do want the best for him and hope he is happy down the line |
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| | From: 0holz0 | Sent: 4/29/2004 4:00 PM |
Lots of people I know have had to make this forced decision... of coarse you have not failed , by giving him the chance and freedom to choose where he wants to be is showing him exactly how much you care for his feelings, try to keep a dairy of how you are feeling. In the future when everything has settled you can show him how hard this decsion was for you and what the circumstances were surrounding your decsion. All children grow up and then regret how they treated their parents, I know I did.,if you have tried everything then sometimes by being apart, you can start building a relationship instead of tearing at each others throat. I really hope things get better for you. Mal |
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