Aunt Hettie and Uncle Mac were our grocers in our town forever it seems like. Finally after 34 years they sold out . Aunt Hettie was 67 and Uncle Mac was 69. They weren't really my Aunt and Uncle that is just what we called them. Mac went out and bought a 1997 3/4 ton pickup and a great big camper that slid inside the bed. You know the kind, it had a door at the back and lapped over the sides of the bed. Hettie and Mac was going to head out to Las Vegas. They had dreamed of going for years but was never was able to so everyone while disapointed they had sold their store was really happy that they would at last accomplish their dream.
Hettie was so excited about getting to Vegas and playing those slot machines that she made Mac get the car ready one Monday with the intentions of leaving that night. Well, ole Mac worked his tale off loading up that camper and sure enough they took off abou 6:30 or 7 that evening. Mac drove and drove . They finally got out of Texas into New Mexico. Mac kept yawning and Hetti kept telling him to wake up and keep his eye on the road. Mac told her soon after that that he was going to have to pull over because he was just too tired to go on. Hetti was not about to stop. She had him pull over and she told him to go back and get in the camper and take a nap and she would keep driving because she wasn't tired.
Well Mac did just that. He climbed into the camper and after seeing that he was in Aunt Hetti climbed into the drivers seat and took off.
About an hour down the road Hetti felt a bump and she thought maybe she had gotten a flat tire so she stopped the truck, got out and circled the camper and was glad to see there were no flats and climbed back into the drivers seat. Unfortunately however Mac was awakened by the stop and after feebily getting his 69 year old body to half way funtion , he climbed out of bed and walked over to the door and opened it and stepped out to see why they had stopped. Hetti had aready put the camper in gear and not aware that Mac had climbed out pushed on the accelarator and off she went leaving Mac standing in the middle of the road hollaring at her to stop.
Mac yelled and cursed and ranted and raved , but Hetti just kept on trucking. Well Mac knew he was in a pickle. There he stood in the arid region of New Mexico and no way to catch her. Then He looked down and things got worse. Mac had taken all his clothes off eccept his briefs. HE didn't know what to do . He could imagine the reaction of a car diving along and seeing a mad man dressed only in his skivies waving his arms trying to get someone to stop. However , after hiding in the ditch as the first two cars drove by he finally came to his senses and got up and tried to wave down the next one. He had no choice. Well three cars sped by two of them honking and pointing at him. Mac shook his head and started walking the way Hettie had driven. More cars went by not a one of them slowed down in fact most sped up. After walking a good hour a State highway Police Officer came by and stopped and put the spot light on the bird-legged, wrinkled up old telling him to lay down on the shoulder of the high way and spead them.
Finally the Officer put Mac in the back of his car and radioed ahead that he had picked up a suspected vagrant that was ranting and raving about his wife running off and leaving him. Even over the Police Car radio you could hear the giggles.
To make a long story short , they finally believed Mac and fortunately he knew his license plate number and they radioed ahead to stop Hetti. The Officer about an hour later came into the room where Mac was and told him they had found her about a hundred miles down the road. By this time even Mac thought it was funny and ask the Officer what his wife said when they told her. The Policeman laughed and said, " She said she just hoped you had put on clean underwear before you left."
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