O.K. I hardly ever post or reply and totally hesitate on giving advice on what is best for someone else's family, but I think I may be able to help. First of all I have 3 kids (14 yr old son, 8 yr old daughter and 4 yr old son - Frosh, 3rd and K) and have toted them through rain, sleet and snow and I'm not even a mail carrier! Any way, I started with 1 kid in a sport (probably around 1st grade) at a time so we only had one place to go to per season to start with - start small. A good rule may be "we don't start sports until 1st grade" or whatever grade works for you that way it's "fair" and you can just sign up one kid if you choose and you will also be able to put it off for another year if you so choose. The first year I had 2 kids in the same sport (baseball and softball), I totally brain farted and totally missed or was an hour late to about 3 games. I looked like a total scatter brain, but I got over that once I realized I'm not super-mom! The second year was better and I got a dry erase calendar and kept it very updated and from then on every year has been pretty smooth. There have been times when games or something has over-lapped and I had to get someone from the team (coaches are good for that and they have usually been screened for criminal activity) or extended family member to help with the oldest as far as transportation. I've learned not to be afraid to ask because I know I would be happy to help someone on our team out if they needed it and most people feel the same, especially if it is the 2nd or 3rd year in the sport for the oldest and you have gotten to know some people.  Bottom line, you will figure it out.

 

Now, at what age do you start? I coach my daughter's softball team and can tell you, either a kid is athletic or they are not. Whether they started in Kindergarten or 5th grade, they either get it or they don't. I don't think it's too difficult to start at  a new sport at 2nd or 3rd grade. Maybe after that, there are a lot of rules and the kids that have been with the sport longer may have an advantage and a few extra tricks up their sleeve; however, at an older age, they are able to learn a little quicker than a Kindergartener that you have to tell them the same thing 3,000 times before they get it and the blank look comes off their face (I know you know what I mean!).

 

Expensive? Yes, it can be. But, many sports leagues will subsidise enrollment and would rather see a kid be able to play than say no to someone because they can't afford it. Be sure to ask or explain your situation to someone in charge. Sometimes they can help, sometimes they can't.

 

Advantages? A ton! I'm sure you realize them without me listing them all out!

 

Over-extended? Absolutely! I know many kids my oldest sons age that have quit many sports or have quit their travel team because it is just too much. I know many parents say their kids like it, but a lot get burnt out then don't want to play at all! Again, that's a decision for each family.

 

I know this is a lot of rambling, but I guess my bottom line is that whatever decision you make now can be unmade next year with minimal or no damage! Start them or don't, but either way, next year is a whole other year! Remember, Michael Jordan didn't make his high school basketball team because he wasn't good enough!

 

I hope this helps at least tone the stress level down a bit for you! If you feel it is too much this year, then maybe next year!

 

Good Luck!

We have four kids--a DS age 17 and a Senior!, and DDs 15 (Jr.) 12 (7th) and almost 11 (6th)--so I know what you are going through.  We started out with swim lessons at the YMCA since the oldest were 3 and 5 because we felt that was important to learn to swim because my husband is terrified of the water.  They did softball in Kindergarten here, but since my kids were close in age, they were usually on the same team until 4th grade.  One year I had four kids on four different teams, luckily there were only three conflicts the whole season!  They all have drifted away from baseball, two went with soccer, one basketball and the other is in nothing.  WE limited them to swimming and one other sport per year and occasionally we did just have to say no.  My husband is not very athletic (neither am I) and they have pretty much dropped out of all sports and even finish swimming around age 12.  Now the two high schoolers are into drama which ends up together and the dd is in Speech.  The youngest is in swimming and Girl Scouts and the middle girl is in nothing having just finished swimming.  I do wish she would be more active but the kids are all different.  We also have the rule that they have ot stay in the whole year or season.  The oldest girl wanted to do ballet/tap one year but wanted to quit before the year was out.  We made her stick with it and after the summer she wanted to get back in in the fall.  We let her and half way through she wanted to quit again.  Needless to say, she did not go out for that ever again! 

I guess the best advice is start out small and try to get them interested in similar things so hopefully they can be on the same team.  Make sure your husband helps out as much as possible and gets to as many games as possible.  My husband did better than I did!  It is wonderful to see them blossom.  There will be missed practices--try to be fair, if he misses a game to see her recital, she can miss practice for a couple of his games.  Good luck.  Parenting can be a wild ride!  But my kids are smart and fairly well rounded individuals.  My oldest is valedictorian so far of his class!   But if the kids don't want to and you are not ready yet, it is OK to put it off a year--it will start soon enough!

Michelle, again, I can so relate to you and your situation. My son is in 1st grade and daughter is starting preschool.  He doesn't show any inclination toward any kind of activity over another and I hate to waste time/money/energy into something that he decides he doesn't like. (Now, if Nintendo DS was a sport or something, then he's good to go! He's obsessed with that, even when he's had days in a row when he doesn't get to play)  Anyway, my daughter would LOVE dancing and I'd love to do that for her but my schedule would complicate it and my husband already "has so much to do" when I'm at work and he's stuck home with the kids (do NOT get me started......) and then the monthly fees plus equipment.

 

And, of course, we couldn't put one kid in an activity and not the other and that would drain more time/money/energy that we don't have.

 

I'm biding my time and see what happens this year [school starts Tuesday....] but maybe I can hold out one more year.....

 

Good luck.

 

Oh, you aren't being selfish!!

 

Sandi

I just want to thank you all so very much from the bottom of my heart for ALL your advice, experince, understanding...everything!  It's nice to know that I'm not the crazy one here!  My friends with kids running them ragged in sports would disagree!  They think I'm the crazy one for not starting when the kids were 3!! 

 

I've thought about just letting one child do a sport at a time, but then it gets into someone possibly having to skip a year and then what happens when our 3rd child is old enough to play.  So I'm really liking the idea of setting a rule of when it can start. 

 

I know my son would love to do something this year (either basketball or soccer at the moment!) and he would benefit from it as he has WAYYYY too much energy that needs released.  But he's only in Kindergarten.  He starts full days tomorrow and I'm hoping that the long days will be enough to drain his unbelievable energy level!  I know he'll protest a bit about not being able to do anything, but he won't be devistated.  He's a natural athlete like his father, so I really shouldn't be too worried.  Then again, his sports are the "free" ones!  lol!  I guess I have a couple weeks to make my decision there.

 

My daughter on the other hand is starting to get some self confidence issues.  Already starting in 1st grade dispite our constant encouragement.  I thought she was too young to think mom and dad aren't completely objective! lol!  I hate to see that as I struggled with that all through school.  So if she were to try something as an outlet for her creativity that SHE wants to do, it would probably be a good idea.  I know how sports can help with self esteem.  I tried to talk her into guitar lessons as she's shown interest in that, but she's not comfortable with one on one sessions.  She has been asking to do gymnastics for about a year now.  Not persistantly, but just every so often in conversation she'll bring it up because some of her friends at school do it.  And since the Olympics just ended, she's even more excited about it.  Classes start TUESDAY!!  Nothing like last minute notice!  I think we're going to give that a try.  I like the "committment" thing, so maybe we'll set a shorter limit since it's a month by month type situation anyway.  Maybe 3 months before she can decide if she wants to keep going or quit, especially since it's twice a week.  Maybe it won't even be an issue!  Man, when did I grow up and have to start making these decisions!  As the kids grow, the mommy job sure is getting harder! lol! 

 

Going to stray a little off topic here, but the other day I was making my daughter a sack lunch (she hates hot dogs or anything containing hot dogs) and they had hot dogs/corn dogs scheduled 2 times in 2 weeks.  So I was actually prepared to make her a lunch for once.  Last year I was just irritated that she suddenly refused to eat hot dogs at home and always had to make her something else.  I don't do that for ANYONE in the family except her on hot dog grilling nights.  And only started doing it upon insistance from my hubby because she simply wasn't eating and I stopped doing hot dog/hamburger nights and went to strictly only hot dogs or only hamburgers.  Anyway...that totally strayed...so I made her a sack lunch and let her help pick out what she wanted to eat and she just grinned from ear to ear on her way up to bed and told me thank you for the sack lunch as I was tucking her into bed.  When I came back downstairs, my hubby asked why she was so happy and I told him that we just finished putting together her sack lunch for tomorrow and she was glad to not have to eat hot dogs (they also have a PB&J option, but the only other food she doesn't eat is jelly and they switched to Uncrustables this year (tax dollars in action) so she can't get just PB anymore so sack lunches are even more important to her this year...again straying...lol!).  But it was in that moment that I said to my hubby...when did I grow up?  I'm starting to feel like my mom! 

 

All this mommy stuff is suddenly starting to hit home!  6 years into it!  Maybe it was the appreciation for the little thing I did for her or maybe it was because I remember my mom making me a sack lunch every once in a while.  But this year I've just really made a more conscience effort to be more organized and motherly than ever before.  Maybe that's where my feeling selfish is coming from because all the sudden my baby isn't a baby anymore and has her own thoughts and ideas and needs me in other ways than just her caretaker.  It's always been my job to keep my kids happy and safe and steer them in the right direction, but now I'm noticing that even in the smallest ways, my job is expanding...and I have to admit it's a bit scary!

 

Sorry, I know I ramble a lot, but I honestly can't help it!!  I appreciate all your thoughts so much more than I can ever express.  Thank you, thank you, thank you for the encouragement and support!!!!  I still have a lot to think about...and discuss more with my hubby.  And I'm loving all the ideas!!!  Have I ever told you all how much I love you??  Well, I'm saying it again!  You guys are AWESOME!!!

 

Michelle

So I'm a little late to this discussion, but wanted to add my 2 cents:

 

I have 3 kids (DS 15, DD 13, DS 8).  YOU get to decide how much you can take on and the kids will adjust.  I applaud you for starting slow.  There will come a time in the not to distant future when all 3 kids will be involved in activities, and you will be a glorified taxi!

 

My oldest started with T-ball in spring of his Kindergarten year.  It was great - an introduction to team sports, a short season, and not too expensive (because it was through the local park & rec program).  By the time he was 7, I gave birth to my youngest.  I had my oldest in soccer (again, park & rec less expensive little kid program).  My daughter tried dance and then soccer, but wasn't into either of them at that point (she was 4 or 5).  The baby just went along for the ride wherever I went.  At this point, my DH was traveling 80% of the time for work, so I was a "single mom" much of the time.  In fact, he kept up that travel schedule until 6 months ago.  Over the years, the schedule has slowly ramped up.  Both of my older kids have played rec league soccer.  Just last spring my oldest tried out for and made a Select (semi-traveling) team.  My daughter continues to play on a rec league team.  For the past 2 years, my youngest has also been playing soccer (he gave it up this year for Tae-Kwan-Do).  Plus my younger 2 kids have both done Scouts.  In addition, the older 2 have electives at school that affect the schedule - band, choir, drama.

 

Yes, it's expensive; yes, it's time consuming, and the scheduling can be a nightmare!  But it is do-able, even when you're on your own.  Carpooling with other parents and/or coaches can help a lot!  Using Power Cooking techniques to stay on top of dinners (my own personal weak spot - we keep eating later and later these days).  Keep a large calendar to keep track of everything.  Look into alternative activities for your kids that aren't as time consuming as sports, such as Cub/Girl Scouts. 

 

And remember, by the time they're in high school (as I've learned to my dismay), all you will be doing is juggling everyone's schedules (band [jazz & concert], marching band, soccer [school and league], swim team, driver's ed classes, a job, choir, drama, Cub Scouts, Tae-Kwan-Do, piano lessons, trumpet lessons are all on the agenda for me during this school year between the 3 kids).  Learning to juggle now will do you a world of good later!

 

Teresa G.

But Michelle....think of all the new leads for your biz you'll have!

 

Mommeee Ginny