A JEWEL IN THE CROWN

Computer Help Desk

Heard by the computer help desk:

A customer couldn't get on the Internet:
Helpdesk: "Are you sure you used the right password?"
Customer: "Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it."
Helpdesk: "Can you tell me what the password was?"
Customer: "Five stars."

Helpdesk: "What kind of computer do you have?"
Customer: "A white one."

Customer: "Hi, this is Rose. I can't get my diskette out."
Helpdesk: "Have you tried pushing the button?"
Customer: "Yes, sure, it's really stuck."
Helpdesk: "That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note."
Customer: "No... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet
.. it's still on my desk... Sorry..."

Helpdesk: "Click on the 'My Computer' icon on to the left of
the screen."
Customer: "Your left or my left?"

Helpdesk: "Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: "Hello, I can't print."
Helpdesk: "Would you click on start for me and..."
Customer: "Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me!
I'm not Bill Gates, you know!"

Customer: "Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print.
Every time I try, it says, 'Can't find printer'. I've even
lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor,
but the computer still says it can't find it."

Customer: "I have problems printing in red."
Helpdesk: "Do you have a color printer?"
Customer: "Aaaah... Thank you."

Customer: "My keyboard is not working anymore."
Helpdesk: "Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?"
Customer: "No. I can't get behind the computer."
Helpdesk: "Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back."
Customer: "Okay."
Helpdesk: "Did the keyboard come with you?"
Customer: "Yes."
Helpdesk: "That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is
there another keyboard?"
Customer: "Yes, there's another one here. Ahh, that one
works!"

Helpdesk: "Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple,
a capital letter 'V' as in Victor, and the number '7'."
Customer: "Is that '7' in capital letters?"

Helpdesk: "What anti-virus program do you use?"
Customer: "Netscape."
Helpdesk: "That's not an anti-virus program."
Customer: "Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer."

Customer: "I have a huge problem. A friend has put a screen-
saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it
disappears!"

Helpdesk: "How may I help you?"
Customer: "I'm writing my first e-mail."
Helpdesk: "Okay, and what seems to be the problem?"
Customer: "Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but
how do I get the circle around it?"

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