Out of the mouths of Babes......
STORY OF ELIJAH
The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the
story of Elijah the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She
explained how Elijah built the altar, put wood upon it, cut the steer in
pieces, and laid it upon the altar. And then, Elijah commanded the
people of God to fill four barrels of water and pour it over the altar.
He had them do this four times "Now, said the teacher, "can anyone in
the class tell me why the Lord would have Elijah pour water over the
steer on the altar?" A little girl in the back of the room started
waving her hand, "I know! I know!" she said, "To make the gravy!"
LOT'S WIFE
The Sunday School teacher was describing how
Lot's wife looked
back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted,
"My Mummy looked back once, while she was driving," he announced
triumphantly, "and she turned into a telephone pole!"
GOOD SAMARITAN
A Sunday school teacher was telling her
class the story of
the Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and
left for dead.
She described the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch
the drama. Then, she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the
roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?" A thoughtful
little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up."
DID NOAH FISH?
A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do
you think Noah
did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?" "No,"
replied David. "How
could he, with just two worms?"
HIGHER POWER
A Sunday school teacher said to her children,
" We have been
learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there
is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?" One child blurted
out, "Aces!"
MOSES & THE RED SEA
Nine-year-old Joey, was asked by his
mother what he
had learned in Sunday school. "Well, Mom, our teacher told
us how God
sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead
the Israelites
out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his army build a pontoon
bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then, he radioed
headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge
and all the Israelites were saved." "Now, Joey, is that really what
your teacher taught you?" his mother asked. "Well, no, Mom. But, if I
told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"
THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
A Sunday School teacher decided to
have her young
class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the
Bible; Psalm 23.
She gave the youngsters a month to learn the verse. Little
Rick was
excited about the task -- but, he just couldn't remember
the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line.
On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation,
Ricky was so nervous.
When it was his turn, he stepped up to the
microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know."
Church Smiles:
There was a very gracious lady who was
mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country. "Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk.
"Only the Ten Commandments,<WBR>" answered the lady.
While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an
Amish carriage
The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign... "Energy efficient vehicle:
Runs on oats and grass.
Caution: Do not step in exhaust.
Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about. The daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt."
Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning's Sunday school lesson was about. He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming."
Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humor out of life,
And pass it on to other folk.
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