You have two choices in life: 
  You can stay single and be miserable, 
  or get married and wish you were dead. 
 
 
  At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, 
  'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?' 
  'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.' 
 
 
  A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: 
  'Husband Wanted' 
  Next day she received a hundred letters. 
  They all said the same thing: 
  'You can have mine.' 
 
 
 
  When a woman steals your husband, 
  there is no better revenge than to let her keep him. 
 
 
  A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished. 
 
 
 
  A little boy asked his father, 
  'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?' 
  Father replied, 'I don't know, son, I'm still paying.' 
 
 
 
  A young son asked, 
  'Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa 
  a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?' 
  Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son' 
 
 
  Then there was a woman who said, 
  'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, 
  and by then, it was too late.' 
 
 
  If you want your spouse to listen and 
  pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep. 
 
 
 
  Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. 
 
 
 
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