A JEWEL IN THE CROWN

You have two choices in life:

You can stay single and be miserable,

or get married and wish you were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,

'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'

'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:

'Husband Wanted'

Next day she received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing:

'You can have mine.'

When a woman steals your husband,

there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.

A little boy asked his father,

'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'

Father replied, 'I don't know, son, I'm still paying.'

A young son asked,

'Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa

a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'

Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son'

Then there was a woman who said,

'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,

and by then, it was too late.'

If you want your spouse to listen and

pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.

Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

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