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| | From:  SparkleChaz (Original Message) | Sent: 12/4/2003 4:25 PM |
Last night I was out & a comment was made by an associate of one of my friends about the fact I am bisexual. It promted me to post this. She was asking me questions which you would not normally ask a person when upon first meeting them for example nature of relationships. She also felt the need to give me her opinion on what she believes is right and wrong She could understand being gay or lesbian because 'you can't choose which gender you are attracted to' (her words) but being bi was just unjustifiable in her eyes. 'How could you possibly be attracted to both sexes?....I think people who claim their bi are just confused.....Are you sure your not just a lesbian and afraid to admit it?......I don't understand and will never understand'........were random comments and questions she threw at me after a short while of meeting her. It made me so mad  I shouldn't have to justify who I am or in fact try to explain the way I feel just so she could understand.I felt so uncomfortable and for a sometime very belittled. Of course people are going to be curious, its human nature but there is a polite way of going about your curiousity. If your going to ask questions it should at least be done with an open mind. I have experinced many situations similar to this recently, not always directed at myself. Has anyone else ever had the pleasure  of coming across someone like this? Do many of you come across this kind of prejudice often? It would be nice to hear some of your experiences & thoughts on this. Hugs Chaz xx |
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| | | From: Kegs | Sent: 12/10/2003 10:25 AM |
Hiya Chaz I just wanted to let you know I understand what you are saying hun. I to am bisexual, I am married and have 3 lovely little girls. Even though I am happy there is something missing from my life and that is a girlfriend. I have had a girlfriend in the past. Alot of my friends know I am bi and are great about it. I have had a few of them come onto me, but they were young and just wanted to see what it was like. Yes I was tempted but I did say no beacause I value our friendship. The next day (after the drink had worn off) they said thank you to me for not going through with it. Saying this there are also the few that think I am mad and just dont get it. They think that I do it so my hubby can get a kick and turned on. Even though I have tried to tell them that if I have a girlfriend it has nothing to do with him. I go out with them and he babysits, he was the one who told me and helped me to understand the way I was feeling. Cos at first I just didnt get how I could like both and it messed me up for a while. I was so confused. But talking to him he helped me . . He even said it was ok for me to have them around the house when he is here. I know it mihgt sound strange to some but it works really well for us. All I can say is as long as your happy with who you are then please dont take any notice of small minded so and so's. Its taken me a while but now I think if people are talking about me they are leaving someone else alone. Let them get on with it and you dont have to explain yourself to those you dont know. . Keep your chin up and if ever you need someone to chat to just drop me a line. Hugs xxx Kegs. p.s sorry if I have gone on a bit lol |
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suzie no no no, lol, please, you misunderstood my message hun i do not, and would not, categorise anyone, straight, gay, black, white... i'm NOT saying 'ALL' straight people are small minded, thats as stupid as saying all chinese have chip shops, or all lesbians wear doc martins.... all i said, is that i found it easy to let go of so called 'friends' who are homophobic, and while thats not as easy for these ladies who are living in a 'straight' families/communities, for them to try and rise above 'those who are' small minded... people can be ignorant, it doesn't matter what sexuality, race, or culture they are from, ignorance is a universal fault..... hugs janx |
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Hiya, first of all thanks for sharing your thoughts & experinces with me. It is much appreciated. I wasn't at all happy the day I originally posted  Kittykat I have found that my true friends don't judge me. They have helped me and understand. They are a vital support for me. It helped so much to talk to them. But I do understand it must be more difficult for you as you have a family. Like jan says, there are some small minded people out there. I realize it is a waste of time even thinking about their opinions. If you ever want a chat give me a shout. It's great Kegs that your husband is so supportive. It is very hard to live a life with supressed feelings & knowing there is something missing. If your situation works for you & you are happy then that is what matters. Hey listen to me, I should take my own comments on board! lol  My best friend and housemate made a pass at me this weekend. We went to my home town for the weekend and she had, had a few to drink. Like you kegs it was tempting as I had a drink too. The next day we had a giggle about it, she was pleased our friendship was safe. Plus I realized I didn't fancey her at all! lmao Anyway thankyou all for your kind words. I appreciate your offer of support Kegs and it is returned. If you ever need a chat (or just to rattle on some more lol  ) just holar. Big hugs Chaz x x |
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| | | From: Kegs | Sent: 12/10/2003 1:08 PM |
Hiya Chaz This is what I looked like reading your message. Thank you for your offer for an ear bashing if I need it pmsl. I think its great that we can share stuff like this in here. Hope to speak to you in the chat room soon. Glad you kept your friendship instead of taking a chance on a one night thing. Hugs xxx Kegs |
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Sorry Jan  . I realise I misunderstood your point..I hold my hand out so you can slap it lol! Suzie xx  |
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| | | Sent: 12/11/2003 12:32 AM |
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suzie lmao, over here suzie thats right bend over oh, erm, right, you said slap your hand ok, out with it then woman lmao is ok suzie hugs janx red you can't rush her hun, she'll do it when its right, or she wont... hope it works out for you though! janx |
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Jan behave! lmao Red, Jan is right hun. You need to give it time. Be patient, she needs to tell her mum when she feels the time is right. I understand what you partner is going through. Someone close to me in my family had prejudice feelings towards none straight people. One day I finally decided I had to tell him. It was the best thing I ever did. It took a while but he is very supportive of me now. It also took me a very long time to tell him. What matters at the is that you are there for each other. All the best hun x Big hugs Chaz xx Ps lol @ kegs, look forward to seeing you in chat. |
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Ouch Jan!! You did'nt have to leave a big red hand print on my arse lol! Suzie xx |
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| | | From: Jannnn8 | Sent: 12/12/2003 1:23 AM |
wasn't doing any replies 2nite but rofpmsl @suzie me |
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When can I book in for the other cheek..Just say when. Suzie xx |
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lmao my little 'but' books a bit full at the moment suzie, but i'm sure we can squeeze you in somewhere heeheheee janx |
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Mmmm..I look forward to that Jan. Suzie xx |
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| | | From: Chimera | Sent: 5/25/2005 7:42 PM |
Dear Chaz,
I read your statement and I read the multitude of threads stimulated by your comments and in my humble opinion I think the problem isn't one of straight's, gays or Bi's but one of the human condition. How quick we are to box people neatly in the continers describing what they are. When we move forward we'll pay no mind to a persons sexual desposition and instead measure them by their actions. For now though perhaps the best course of action is to leave those mislead people with their illusions and continue in your life with whatever values you believe to be right for you. Good luck in everything you do and I hope one day she will respond in a more mature and positive matter to what is actually a very personal decision.
God bless and take care
Chimera |
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hey there.first off aside from the fact that you are possibly incredibly unique and openminded, not only due to the path you've chosen but to the fact that you have actually lived and experienced this unique path, you are proberly not the confused one out of the two talking, As you have been with both sexes, and you have chosen to continue to be with both.Pretty straight foward really. Even if judgement is thrown at you, it's not really coming from a good source of trial and error is it? I think the best thing to do in situations like this is understand where they coming from in their curiosity and know that they are yet to comprehend what you take for granted, on a daily basis as you are quite likely to be more in tune with your body wants and desires than unfourtunately most tunnelled vision people will ever experience. Keeping this in mind understand that people will always question and fear what they do not know, and in this sense, you are quite well informed and in this conversation your comments are based on experience and fact, whereas the other woman was proberly only just skimming the top of her perceptions/thoughts. you wouldn't ask a plumber to design a wedding dress, and if you did you should not be upset if it resembled shit ;-p just smile and nod. |
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