~*Not Quite the Perfect Knight!*~

The evening would be perfect,

I had cooked up quite a storm,

I’d made a chocolate pudding

Even kept the entree warm:

A chicken basted beautifully,

In Rosemary and Thyme,

While Chardonnay was bucketed

As is done with real good wine.

The table cloth had had a scrub,

As had the paper plates,

And out came my best plastic forks

This was the date of dates.

No item had been overlooked

There were candles, there were flowers,

They’d all been carefully dusted

And each petal ironed for hours.

The final touch - the mood music,

I checked through my CD’s

And wasn’t I just rapt to find

A slightly scratched Bee Gees.

As incense wafted sandalwood

To kill the smell of socks,

I grabbed the last remaining beer

And hid last minute jocks.

The clock ticked on to seven

And the doorbell gave a gong,

As Barry hit a high note

To ensure I was on song.

And as I opened up the door

The front porch light revealed,

An angel dressed just like a queen

Her hair’d been Edward Bealed.

A gentle kiss upon the cheek

Brought forth a hint of scent,

That probably cost more than the meal

And twice my weekly rent.

She entered softly on high heels

All class - she was - too right!

And slyly as she entered

I began to dim the light.

She’d brought with her Dom Perignon,

Looked rather large and flash,

I reckon it musta cost ten bucks -

But hey! She had the cash.

We chatted over dinner

Talked of footy, cars and stuff;

And there was a word on shopping

Though a word is oft enough.

As wine and food began the task

Of calming early nerves,

It didn’t help my pouring

And my walk was full of swerves.

She snuck upon me quickly,

Ran her fingers through my hair,

Her lips touched my warm earlobe

And I felt her hot breath there.

She whispered as she nibbled,

Though up close t’was like a wail

And she asked if she might have a little

Fluffy Duck Cocktail.

You can imagine how this shook me

And my heart it almost sank -

I mean she’d eaten my best tucker,

Now she wanted a small pork frank.

She sensed I think my egoslide,

And led me to the bar,

And wow was I impressed to see

That lady grab a jar.

She filled it with all kinds of things,

Crushed ice and cream and stuff,

And pretty soon my lip was soaked

In a duck that was all fluff.

I can’t remember much more but,

I think the last I knew,

That Barry sang, �?Ya should be dancin!�?/STRONG>